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Re: questions that need answering
| quote: | Originally posted by tranceaholic
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
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Ibn Abu-Musafa - born in Babylon, he revolutionized modern dairy farming by discovering milk.
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2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
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Yi Li, a Chinaman, outcast for his weird eating habits, made eggs famous in China as early as 500 B.C.
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3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
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Because you should have the refrigerator door open as well, which will produce enough light to see into the freezer.
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4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
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Because the song is about not caring that he cracks corn, not that they care that he cracks corn.
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5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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Doubtful, since the driver or the dead persons are not going to work and it's probably not rush hour. However, I doubt anyone would care.
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6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
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People are usually in a hurry when asking to go to the bathroom and really don't have time to be motioning. When they are asking the time, however, they have plenty of time to spare because they don't know what time it is.
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7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
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There is something about watching a woman undress that makes men go crazy. If they are already naked, the works done, so they mentally relax.
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8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
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Since they both speaking fucking English, I don't think you can use anatomical logic here.
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9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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It's a well known fact that Wile E. Coyote's father, Milo E. Coyote, ran an ACME factory, which Wile E. had access to. Food, however, was still scarce in the area.
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10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
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Tests.
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11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
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Not babies, you sick fuck.
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12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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No. Well, mostly no.
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13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Because they are simplistic childrens songs.
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15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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Sure. Unless they're also blind.
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16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
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Try brushing your teeth.
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17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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No.
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18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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2 reasons - the inside of the bottle is coated with a non-glue-stickable substance, and, the fact that the glue is still all together and protected from the air which hardens it keeps it from sticking.
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Uh, just did those off the top of my head... heh. 
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Nathan Fake - Outhouse (Valentino Kanzyani Remix) 
