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Beginning is pretty cool. Kick is a little resy for my tastes. Nice use of the stereo field with percs. Bassline is pretty cool. Nice save there at 2:20, was almost getting boring. The snare is pretty weak, same with the kick, so the break sounds a little weak. Your levels are a little bland, things that sounds cool arent coming through enough in my opinion. Towards the end the bassline gets a little tiring. Aaand finished.
Well, alot of the elements are really cool, but there just isnt enough dynamic to them, know what I mean? The track is extremely linear and lacks any sort of shift in feeling or mood. Also since things seem to mesh together in a sort of plain way, there is not a whole lot of drive to it, nothins pushin the rhythm for me.
So in conclusion:
Tweak your EQ a little more, you are gonna have to sacrifice some of the frequencies of some instruments to make room for the others, this will help the dynamics of the sound.
Work your levels a bit more: Your percs are really dry sounding, the lead toward the end sounds really cool, personally I would like to hear it with a faster attack, more mids, and a spacier reverb. Sounds farty with too much low-mid and low end, let it shine in the mid-highs.
Work your bassline more man, the melody is cool, but it just gets boring, try changing the chord progression up more, this will assist in the dynamic feel of your lead aswell towards the end.
And maybe juice that break up a bit. I love a good break. Find yourself a better snare, and just beat the shit out of your listener during the break.
Aside from all that critisism, sounds like you got a keeper there, just needs some work. Would like to hear more.
P.S. Next time maybe post this in the Amateur Producers Promotion Forum
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