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"National pride"
Seriously, what is this monkey shit? I thought it was just a passing fad but it just won't go away, and the current U.S. mudslingling contest (read: election) is bringing it to heights I never thought possible. When you win a track meet or the Nobel prize, that's personal pride because you accomplished it. When your team wins the world series (or the office competition), that's team pride because you played on that team, and when your kid gets an A+ on his math test, that's parental pride because you actually raised that kid and taught him some discipline. But isn't this "proudly Canadian" and "America is the greatest country in the world" bullshit taking it a little too far? Are people's lives so fucking devoid of any real accomplishment that they have to resort to the "my daddy's a brain surgeon" and "my daddy could beat up your daddy" schoolyard boasts?
Ok, maybe this shit was okay when we were 4 years old and our greatest achievement in life was learning how to find the potty before we crapped our pants. At that age, it's acknowledged and expected that we're parasites leeching off the success of our parents and that our lives have no real meaning aside from our parents and the boogers and worms we eat during recess to gross out our friends. But when you're 25 years old, is it REALLY necessary to be advertising to the rest of the world that you're still a parasite, except that now it's not your parents hosting you, but an inanimate land mass which you share with a corrupt government and the likes of Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne? You were BORN in this country. It's not a fucking ACCOMPLISHMENT that you're a citizen there. Even if your country was truly the greatest, which in most cases it's not according to various international studies, what exactly does that tell people about YOU when you feel that this is an important enough aspect of your personal identity to attach it to yourself at all times in the form of nationalistic tirades or an annoying flag sewn onto your backpack? WONDERFUL! Your country is great, but YOU'RE STILL A FUCK-UP AND A PRETENTIOUS TWIT!! Here's a thought, why not go to that brain-surgeon daddy of yours and get him to look through his spare pile and FIND YOU ONE THAT WORKS!
I'm all for patriotism and the love of one's country - I think everybody should either respect their country or leave it. But let's be clear on the difference here: when a man says he loves his wife/girlfriend, that does NOT mean that his personal pride is based on her reciprocating. Any self-respecting guy knows this and doesn't run around all day screaming "I'M A RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN BECAUSE I SCORED WITH AN UGLY OLD BAG LAST NIGHT!" I can just imagine these guys going on a trip to China and when someone asks where they're from, they can't say "Canada" without first jumping to their feet and thumping their chests, then spinning around in a circle with their fists pumped in the air going "WOOOOOOOO!" afterwards. Guess what guys, NOBODY FUCKING CARES where you came from; if you behaved like this in Paraguay, it would probably be roughly translated as "Please kick my ass immediately" and you'd proceed to get beaten to within an inch of your worthless irrelevant life. Maybe if you had a graduate degree or a cheque that isn't a social security cheque, people might listen to what you have to say.
And for all you ingrate early-generation immigrants who are snickering at this because you think you're "above" this white-trash nationalism, don't, because your "Greek/Italian/French/Yugo/Serb/Spanish/Black pride" is TWICE as bad. Not only is your immigration status TOTALLY irrelevant to the above rant, but either (a) you're first-generation and thus obviously can't love your country THAT much if you fucking LEFT IT, or (b) you're NOT first-generation and hence DON'T EVEN FUCKING BELONG to the country you're so "proud" of being from. So put a sock in it, and keep your multiculturalist crap to yourself because all you're proving is that you're even more of a goddamned hypocrite than the natives.
Please, please, make it stop!
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My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here
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