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i quite like the ideas and the way you've put it together, although i agree that it doesn't sound very high quality.
the leads sounded a bit thin and a bit too toppy, which i think is almost sticking a layer of white noise over the track... might be worth looking at the eq, maybe filter it down slightly and try and bring out some of the more mid-range frequencies
considering the hard sound of the track, the kick doesn't quite punch through enough - seems to be lacking bass and general power
sorry, this sounds like more of a slating than it should - you've got a lot of nice ideas in there and i wouldn't give up on this one, just needs a bit of fine tuning to give it the full sound it requires 
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Stu Cox | 

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