Hey there,

First off it sounds like theres too much reverb on the kick at the start. Dont like those crash cymbals too much either... your overusing them waay too much and they sound pretty cheesy and tinny. I only ever use cymbals at the end of a drumroll or when something is about to come in. You have them just going off for no reason at all at the start. Not sure if your going for a trace feel, but right now, they are kinda disrupting the flow. The reversed cymbal sounds a bit nicer though and the highhats are ok.

The melody is really simple and cheesy too. try spending abit longer on it to get something a bit more original. It starts heading in the right direction near the end though, so dont despair, just keep hammering away until you get something special.

Your buildups arnt really leading into anything either. Theres a buildup at the start where nothing much happens and then you add in a highhat a few bars later. Try making it all come together at once after the buildup. Main melody, full percs, pads.. the whole bit.

The actual sound quality isnt too bad though and some of the synths your using are kind promising although that bass is a little on the harsh side.

=)

___________________