the fart must be silent, as for the smell i don't think people will notice something (unless you've had some weird thing for lunch)

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"A style that's impossible to define. Prog? Hardly. Tech house? Not boring enough. It's like trippy twisted acid house but deep and funky. See, I told you - impossible."

fart on the leeward side of the plane.

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Retro ...

Breathe deeply. Inhale as much as possible. Be really selfish about that. However, if you find yourself in a situation where everyone else (plus the people in the cockpit) noticed your flatulence, here's what to do:

1. Look behind you.
   
2. If people don't blame the person behind you after this slick move of yours, be as confident as possible and ask the person behind you whether it was a sign of turbulence.
   
3. If people don't buy that either, don't let them notice you realised they're not buying it. Look forward and start to meditate claiming this will tell you what the noise was (or that meditating calms planes down). Inhale 6, Exhale 8. Inhale 7, Exhale 9. By then, you might do some weird noises yourself. If you're lucky, a hippy near you will join you.
   
4. If all options above fail miserably... well, by inhaling that deeply the smell will be gone anyway so all you need is to pretend nothing happened for the proofs are already gone.
   

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so i guess pulling down the oxygen mask might be an seen as an admition of guilt.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow so i guess pulling down the oxygen mask might be an seen as an incriminating act.

Not if you fasten your seatbelt and panic before.

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quote:

Originally posted by Lira Not if you fasten your seatbelt and panic before.

the funny thing is i never seem to have to fart unless i'm surounded by a lot of ppl, in a confined area, and it's quiet.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow What's the protocol for farting on plane?

Yeah, I remember that from the emergency booklet!

Goes something like this...

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"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."

you should walk up and down the aisle as if you are streching you legs or something. Slowly let the fart out as you walk around.

he who smelt it, delt it.

quote:

Originally posted by MERLIN he who smelt it, delt it.

He who made the rhyme commited the crime.

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