Alright, one of my friends is going out with an asian guy. Her moms had problems with some of her bfs in the past, but those didnt matter she said, this guy does.

She said to her, she thinks hes a really nice guy, really nice.

Today her cusin told her that her mom was talking to her mom. On the phone she said she thought he was really nice, a really great guy, but under the circumstances she cant like him (because hes asian).

Her cusin told her not to tell her mom because then they know it came from her cusin. So her mom doesnt know my friend knows, and now she doesnt even want to face her mom tomorrow. Shes totally pissed, totally upset, her mind is like totally blown her mom can say that. She doesnt know what to do.

What should she do??

quote:

Originally posted by Playa24_7 What should she do??

Triple murder suicide.











I'm kidding.

That's messed

If she really cares about this guy, then she won't care about what her mom thinks.......and if the mom really cares about her daughter she will get over herself and accept it

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Gee, that's tuff. I'm not sure how delicate a mother-daughter relationship is but I personally feel like nothing can come between you and your mother...there are all kinds of shit that I couldn't admit to my Dad, but couldn't keep away from Mom.

IMHO, the relationship between your friend and her Mom comes before the relationship between your friend and her cousin. The Mom (again, if the relationship is that close) should not mention it to her ?sister? (your friend's aunt I guess?) that your friend told her, to maintain the confidence that your friend's cousin has in your friend.

Holy shit...just keeping track of relationships in this was a tuffy but I hope I'm not too confusing!!! Hope it goes well, brah!

EDIT:
Good point, Ben...I am now engaged to a girl outside my background and it took a while for my Mom to get used to the idea (try 3 years) but this girl meant a lot for me so I was patient (not to mention hid all kinds of stuff! LOL!) But eventually, the point is she came around, especially after they met a few times and my Mom saw how my fiancee truly cares for my family...

Last edited by on Apr-25-2005 at 04:46

Well, her mom will just have to get used to the idea. When I started dating girls outside of my culture my parents weren't too keen on it either but after a while they gave up trying to control me. Tell your friend that her mom just needs some time to see beyond her bf's skin color.

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SHUT UP AND DANCE !!

Alot of talks with her mom ends up in fights she said, so I told her

"well hey, if it does, then forget her. dont even bring it up unless she does. just keep giong about it, and she can frig off! and if she decides to bring it up, you can tell her that your not letting her get you to make a decision you dont want to because of her beliefs! and you will stay with him"

Yeah avoiding fights for the short term is good but in can lead to some serious long term issues...it depends on how much your friend REALLY cares about this guy (it may be early but does she see herself marrying him?)

If so, then eventually your friend and her Mom need to discuss WHY her Mom feels the way she does and be proven that her beliefs are wrong in this case (easier said than done...as it took me a few years to prove that)...

quote:

Originally posted by fayraree If so, then eventually your friend and her Mom need to discuss WHY her Mom feels the way she does and be proven that her beliefs are wrong in this case (easier said than done...as it took me a few years to prove that)...

i agree .. communication is key. find out more about why she's concerned and try to address those fears. she can even cite Bruce Lee as an example.

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Palm Trees > Pine Trees , Sand > Snow

oh wait a minute!! there are no black people involved, so why did i post that????

ummmmm............hmmmmmmmmm......ok i think my moment of comic relief has past now

quote:

Originally posted by trancechaos oh wait a minute!! there are no black people involved, so why did i post that???? ummmmm............hmmmmmmmmm......ok i think my moment of comic relief has past now

OMG! bwahahahahahahahahahaha

Thats Bakis funniest post EVER! oh shit!

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TECHNO IS THE BEST NOISE ON EARTH.
Save Techno - Stop Minimal / Tech-House

always stick to your own kind in relationships... less headaches, yes even in 2005.

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quote:

Originally posted by trancechaos oh wait a minute!! there are no black people involved, so why did i post that???? ummmmm............hmmmmmmmmm......ok i think my moment of comic relief has past now

how do you know the girl isn't black ??

are we assuming something?

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Palm Trees > Pine Trees , Sand > Snow