-----Original Message-----
From: [mailto:*******
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 9:50 AM
To: ******
Subject: ugh

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I
feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I
am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the
people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person
that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all
for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all
of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even
handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't
handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird,
I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The
world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me,
there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I
don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping
that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also
hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds
totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant
role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally
strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior
didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you
hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a
terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say
or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that
fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever
imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my
life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you
won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for
getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at
your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be
great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel
like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it
was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I
really don't think I can handle that.

I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

The Reply:
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 12:02 PM
Subject: Re: Ugh....enjoy.

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L"
for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less
about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting
to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load
of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45
minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long
because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid
thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck
him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to
you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been
most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings
for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't
think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run
of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as
your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty
hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my
place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up
tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning
commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for
a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that
when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on
top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh
our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class
you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little
like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,
Brad

http://houston.craigslist.org/rnr/107081114.html

___________________
Retro ...

can you post the short version?

___________________
GIGANTIC CUNT

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow can you post the short version?

Trust me, it is worth the read. Pretty fucking funny!

classic example of "don't send teh letter"

i love craigslist.

___________________
+ + + AMBROSIA
lovebirds tracklist archive | vincenzo tracklist archive

Owned

And yes it is worth the read

___________________

quote:

Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran

quote:

winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room.

short version: basically a very shitty consumption junction article. or a random, extended, boring internet flame. a guy recounting a bad date he had in neither a funny nor interesting nor engaging way.

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

quote:

Originally posted by Staedtler short version: basically a very shitty consumption junction article. or a random, extended, boring internet flame. a guy recounting a bad date he had in neither a funny nor interesting nor engaging way.

thanks i didn't feel like reading it and i'm glad i didn't

___________________
GIGANTIC CUNT

ah... clever replies from insecure dimwit who didn't get an exclusive blow job deal from his slutty blonde x-gf. buwhu humbug.

should have done the right thing - kept feeding her and bang around with other sluts. No need to throw away perfectly good whore. as a matter of fact, a good whore is hard to find. Once that threshhold is crossed, a whole new ball game opens up!

If she's so liberal, why not share her with your friends or have bukkake parties? That's so much fun. Coz' a girl who can do these kind of things can also bang 3 of your friends simultaneously... and if you got 2 more friends, bring them too - they might get an odd handjob out of that too. If nothing else - get a decent show.

Also, these kind of chicks have a horrible self esteem issues and if you just try - you can even get them to munch on carpet, take a load from freshly used anus of her friend, etc. in other words - why not bring pr0n industry to her?

I used to be such a possesive and insecure person. If similar situation happened now - I'd know what to do with it and how to handle it. Let's just say that NFL games would be a lot more interesting on sunday mornings. "Hey hon, my friends are here for 'blowjob for touchdown', handjob for 3rd down conversion' party we talked about"

see - there's something there for everyone.

___________________

quote:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

--Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

An amusing read

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by emc^2 ah... clever replies from insecure dimwit who didn't get an exclusive blow job deal from his slutty blonde x-gf. buwhu humbug. should have done the right thing - kept feeding her and bang around with other sluts. No need to throw away perfectly good whore. as a matter of fact, a good whore is hard to find. Once that threshhold is crossed, a whole new ball game opens up!

VERY WISE WORDS my friend! BIG respect for this superb post.