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Mr. T...
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
Mr T. is in fact 120 feet tall, breathes fire, and pisses liquid gold. but since no human on earth can comprehend his awsomeness, he formed a man out of gold, rock, and c-4 explosives to pity us all.
Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
The reason there are no known photographs in existence of a young Mr. T is that he is over 835 years old, and therefore pre-dates cameras. His age is attributed to Death being too scared of Mr. T to come for him. He tried once, but was pitied like a fool, so went looking instead for the next 'T' in his book, Thomas Beckett.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they're cute and don't take up much room.
Mr.T actually came up with the theory of relavity, Einstein merely stole it from him. Although originaly this was called Mr.T's theory of relative pity, Einstein in fact mistranslated it into 'jibba jabba'
Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard that he burst into flames.
As a kid, Mr. T loved to play the game of Hot Potato. Of course, he didn't play with a regular potato. Rather, Mr. T preferred playing with a live hand grenade. Mr. T pities the fool who's no good at hot potato.
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.
A random onlooker once taunted Mr. T. Mr. T responed by hitting the man so hard that both his parents died.
If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode.
Mr. T's umbilical cord was actually a large gold chain... the medallion didn't grow in until he was 6 months old.
Mr. T, Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris only met once. This was the same day that the dinosaurs went extinct. They have been kept apart ever since.
Sometimes, it is said, that when you hold a gold chain to your ear you can hear the screams of all the fool's souls that Mr.T has pittied to death.
Mr. T's autobiography, "So Many Fools, Not Enough Pity," was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for its heartwarming and inspiring tales of Mr. T overcoming his fear of flying, and his battle with gold-addiction--as well the sweet tutorial on how to install machine-gun turrets on top of a GMC van using a welding torch, a 55-gallon drum, chicken wire, and skim milk.
The chain around Mr. T's neck is not made of just gold. It's really made of Chuck Norris' semen, which is, in fact, gold.
Mr. T defeated cancer by pitying it into submission. Consequently the first mohawked antibodies were discovered by doctors, but are too helluva tough to be injected into mortals.
When Mr. T puts on his dancing shoes, you better f-ing run.
When asked what a pitying feels like, Mr. T responded "Rip off your own genetalia".
Mr T. can fly, or rather levitate, by the simple act of pitying gravity into submission.
God didn't create the world, he only drew the blue prints. Mr. T built the world with his bare hands, an acetylene torch and a 55 gallon drum.
The last time Mr. T uttered the words, "I pity the fool", a man in Colorado suddenly died for no reason.
Mr. T’s show “T and T” was so popular that studio executives had to take it off the air, as not to overshadow all other shows. As an attempt to distract from Mr. T’s popularity, Steve Urkel was born.
Mr. T is an avid pog collector. The only time someone had ever collected a pog from Mr. T, Mr. T retaliated by collecting his head.
According to Mr. T, Jibba Jabba is the official language of 99.9% of the world's population .
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Pretty Simple;
Saturdays at Ffour.
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QUIT YOUR JIBBA JABBA!!!
