On The Rail

It’s black as night
Around me falls a golden light
The rain is falling down
Eyes closed I hear nothing not a single sound
Cold enough I no longer feel the bone deep chill
Not bothering to care why I am standing here still
All the angry words you had said
Are chasing themselves around in my head
You were angry at me
Because you’ve been cheating on me
You talk and act as if it is all my fault
You were always telling me everything is my fault
All the stupid foolish things you choose to do
Are because I make you
She is the one you go to
Don’t deny it I know it’s true
I stand here now in the rain
My feet slipping on the rail
Convincing myself I’ll feel no pain
Through the wind my body will sail
I just have to close my eyes
Never again will I hear your lies
Nobody has yet to see me
One step and I could be free
I don’t belong to you
I have to believe that is true
The chill is deep in my bones
I feel my entire body quake
If I just shut my eyes
If I just step forward
I’ll forever be in the dark of night
Or will I find myself in God’s golden light
I don’t feel the rain still coming down
Still I hear not a single sound

Out

Crying in the dark
Dying in the night
Upon my skin you have left your mark
I know it will still be there in the morning light
I know I will do my best to try and hide
The mark which you have left upon my face
Inside of me some part has already died
There is nothing left inside just hollow space
With your words you spun such a web
And I was foolish enough to just fall into it
I never questioned a single thing you said
I just kept letting your words fill my head
It took you months before you touched me
Now I so badly need to be free
I am willing to do anything to be free
But I am all too aware of how impossible that will be
You told me you love me
But than how can you hurt me
Or keep telling me I am stupid
Or argue with me over something silly
Happy I cant remember the last time we were
But it was long before you started going to her
I know I will get through this some how
I cant let myself break down now
You told me everything you knew I would fear
You told me everything I didn’t want to hear
I know I need to leave you
But fear of not knowing what you’ll do
Keeps me frozen here where I am
Standing at the window as still as a statue
Fear griping me from the inside out
But you’ve left me no other possible rout
You’ve left me no other choice
I need out


She Will

Beaten beyond black and blue
Her friend knows her words are all but true
Tripping didn’t leave her such a mark
But she wont talk there is nothing she can do
She always told her he was no good for her
Now she knows her words are all but true
Saying anything will only make things worse
Next time she could be visiting her along side a Hurst
She hides all of her pain
Inside she is going insane
She thinks about running away at night
But for the kids it just wont be right
They have never been witness to a fight
But oh how she wants to disappear along with the light
Help she believes she has none
She cant live life living on the run
She cant think of herself only the kids
She has to do what’s right for them
She knows she will go home and pick up all the glass
She will cook him a nice home cooked meal
She wont think of the beatings from the past
She will ignore all the fear that she knows she will feel
The kids are there she thinks she will be fine
But not this night this is the night he crosses the line
He only hit her once
But once was enough
She hit her head on the stove on her way down
The quiet sound she made was a deafening sound
She didn’t even blink her eyes
She never heard her children’s cries
He doesn’t know what he has done
Guilt he has none
He doesn’t shed a single tear
They came true every last fear