I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time --- but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Laughing helps relieve tension; and hopefully, lengthens your life. Here is to a long and happy life. Enjoy.

Freakin Brilliant!

I could picture this happening, lmfao

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"I think the scientific and the artistic spirit have something in common. The scientist wants not only to learn the facts, but to understand how they cohere, fit together and make a whole. He even uses criteria such as beauty and symmetry to help decide which theory he wants.

The scientist cannot capture the whole cosmos in thought. In his mind he makes a kind of microcosm, which we see as an analogue of the cosmos. In this way we try to get a feeling for the whole. The artist, I suppose, gets a feeling for the whole some other way.”

David Bohm in “Art, Dialogue and the Implicate Order”, published in On Creativity RC (Routledge Classics)

quote:

Originally posted by djjonas I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time --- but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door. Laughing helps relieve tension; and hopefully, lengthens your life. Here is to a long and happy life. Enjoy.

jonas, if you really did this, that is my hero story for the month of august.

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Helping girls make bad decisions since 1979

Jonas,

You are the man!!! I'll forget you ever had a jotz avatar.

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quote:

Originally posted by Dirk W. People in Dallas aren't *ssholes. Just look at me, I live in Dallas.

Meat is Murder...tasty, tasty murder.

quote:

Originally posted by davemolina Jonas, You are the man!!! I'll forget you ever had a jotz avatar.

He tells people he was licking his own balls and you forget he had a jotz avatar??

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"An opinion is what you have when you don't have any facts. When you have the facts, you don't need an opinion." - Solomon Short
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quote:

Originally posted by Zeonfiend He tells people he was licking his own balls and you forget he had a jotz avatar??

yes. whenever you call a complete stranger out like that for asking stupid things you get a gold star. i don't care if you have to take one in the process

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Helping girls make bad decisions since 1979