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Ha, I would use other Fx's, those one are overused mate, also, to enchant the Fx's I always pan them in bar with automatization, remember that we listen in stereo so this lil things are really nice for the stereo  .
The build up is there, but sounds pretty basic atm mate, if you are beginign I would say u have pretty much the overall idea but it sounds amateur  .
The tune is going in good direction, I can hear u have been emulating the b uild up from the clasic Trance tunes, that's a good way to learn  .
In overall, the sound is pretty clean, that's a good point, there are some minor details to check out but is pretty clean, the build up and the tune itself sounds amateur but in a good direction, it only needs to be polished and more experience and u have it, the idea is there, and dont over use the Fx's .
Kopi =o.
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