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for some reason, people were complimenting me when i was TRYING to be an asshole
Store opened, people are running. whatever. A guy runs into a baby carraige, but the carraige fights back and he falls down.
The very first person at the registers comes to me with a flash drive and a bluetooth headset. Reminder that the headset is free after rebate. He takes one look at the price of the flash drive and says "no, take the flash drive off. it's too cheap" GONK
Before we opened the doors, i put in my head and memorized all the things in the ad that specifically had "1 unit per household." If a customer came up to me with one of these items and did not ask me where it was "REALLLLLLLLLLY just 1 unit per household," i'd just ring them all up, give him the 1 rebate form and then he/shed go "wait, i bought 99 blue tooth headsets, there is only 1 rebate" and then i go "o rite! its supposed to be 1 unit per household like it says in the ad." and then they go "fuck, i dont want them then" and then i go "HAHAHHHAH CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!! WAIT IN THE FUCKING LINE HAHAHAHALOLOLOLOLOLOL"
story from co-worker:
guy comes to him and DEMANDS he give him a non-sale wireless-n router for 4.99 because we are out of stock on the 4.99 wireless g router. The demand is followed by an index finger into his chest, then anindex finger into his forehead and then a shove. He claims his anger is justified by the fact that "me and my sick mother have been out in the cold for a half hour"
i totally fucked some chinese guy out of a GPS unit. well, not on purpose. He comes up to me right when he walks in the door and says "hey, this GPS unit, sell it to me." "man it would be my dream to sell you one but i can't. i am a cashier. i'm useless!" so he starts his reasoning: "no! just ring up this SKU and then i'll find it and just walk out with it. please just sell it to me." I think to myself this guy is just asking to get fucked. c'mon. it'll be fun. oooook So i ring him up, give him his receipt and he wanders off. 10 minutes later, he comes back to me saying "OMG They won't give it to me!" and i give him my most commonly used phrase for the night: "oh man, that sucks." and well, that was the end of that story
actually, maybe there is more to that story. Because if he comes back tomorrow demanding a refund, customer service is probably going to ask "HELOOO i'll give you a refund when we get our GPS unit back!"
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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/gabriel_and_dresden
| quote: | | ...known from a videotape the two made when they met in March... in Dresdens home, Dresden amputated Gabriels penis and Dresden and Gabriel ate the penis together...Gabriel had insisted that Dresden bite his penis off; this did not work.. Dresden used a knife. When that knife turned out to be too blunt, Dresden used a sharper knife to slice the penis off. Gabriel apparently tried to eat his share of his own penis..but could not because it was too..."chewy". Dresden then sautéed the penis in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic. |
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