Ten things that piss me off, by someone famous

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the
time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is
yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom
is?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy, considering he
has no dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the
entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk
to the TV and change the channel manually.

4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and
eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you
can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake
instead?

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look."
Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after
you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see
that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and
stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come
here for?

7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey
Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't
drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really
give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

9. When something is "new and improved", which is it?
If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.
If it's an improvement, then there must have been something
before it.

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how
fast you were going? You should know asshole, you fucking
pulled me over.

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Last edited by Pepanee on Mar-31-2002 at 20:11