It's been (re)educational for me to watch how hard I whored myself to create a comfortable status quo for myself here.
Absolutely shameless. And while I can't genuinely be surprised at the general concept, to view it vividly like I have today and yesterday made me cringe in some cases. I justified those rarities by a 'means to an end rhetoric', but of course.

Unlike most n00bs that I've noticed, my goal was not to fit in with a particular subset or another of the population, neither to become a member of a so-called clique, but rather to get attention and be acknowledged.

The above was written mostly as a timesaver for myself for future nostalgy trips, so as to spare the less pleseant parts of the observation. Feel free to laugh at any point.

It's also been amazing for me to see how my rhetoric related crafts have improved over the last 4 years, aswell as my english communication skills, I'm pretty confident most of those improvements occured right here at the forums.

My personality was shaped to a great extent in basically everything aside from ethics here, I even found a role model - a person I'm actually jealous of and crave approval from (recently in more desperate forms than before), shouldn't really be hard for you to guess who, if you wish.

I don't have photo albums, I have a post albums, online here, and if TA was to dissappear: within a year or two, I believe I'd forget 4+ years of my life almost entirely. Somewhat sad.
But don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't have friends outside of this box, I have plenty. the reason I'd be forgetting those 4 or more years of my life in such an unfortunate event is that I'm leaving my friends to move to greener pastures in a year's time or so (combined with my dreadful memory, most of you know about).


For the interested, I could throw an explanation off the top of my head as to the reasoning for all this prioritizing of an online community over the offline community:
My offline life, or geopolitical world included about the same amount of oughts, or duties as any of yours, plus 3 years, amounting to some 17-18 years of highly limited freedoms, which aren't only socially approved, but also mandated in many parts of the world.
I just wasn't willing to go through the same process as my peers, so while I 'fought' in the outside world via cutting class, ignoring social hegemonies of many kinds, studying at the university while i was meant to be in a class full of retards (read: a normal classroom) reharsing the answers to a test, inciting miniature rebellions at boot camp, going AWOL, becoming a renegade, serving jail time, threatening rebellions at jail, "corrupting" my peers back in the army, and finally gaining the holy grail: being dishonourably discharged, I found the "online world" as a place in which to learn not only how to interact with my peers, but to create peers where I wasn't automatically granted them by the force of circumstances.
An admittedly overly simplistic explanation, but a viable one nonetheless.


A COR version will not be written by me if by anyone at all, the topic title should suffice.


Feel free to comment, coax further information, tell of your own history, or simply laugh - at my expense or otherwise.

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People who own my ass: Citric Acid, Boomer187, Tribu, Sand Leaper,
Jackson, venomX, jamie, Renegade, Konjin, Akridrot, Miss Bliss.
Psy-T - Down The Rabbit Hole (400minute long acid set)