All right, which one of you guys wrote this?
SomethingAwful's Guide To Internet Criticism
| quote: | 1. Criticism Control #1: Let's see you do better.
Nothing infuriates a critic more than realizing that they will never aspire to create the very art that they criticize. For example, the only thing I'm fully able to criticize is boxing, since I have been repeatedly punched in the face on multiple occasions. But unless you, a single person, can outperform an entire production team of artists, writers, musicians, and Lorne Michaels, well, don't step into the ring with me -- unless you want to suffer 3rd-degree pwnage on 90% of your body.
Allow me to cite a 2004 Internet battle in which I was the clear victor. The subject at hand? The immortal battle of Tiny Toon Adventures v. Animaniacs. For those of you not deep in the trenches, like me, the tension between fans of these two shows can only be matched by the tension between the two kinds of people in the Middle East. A certain poster, fifi_lefume97, dared to claim Animaniacs was clearly inferior. Here, from the Institute of Pwnage's archives, is my response:
"Inferior? The only thing here that is "inferior" is your attempt at criticism. After all, fifi_lefume97, what position of authority do you hold? Have you produced 99 episodes of an acclaimed animated series, ending with the masterpiece film, Wakko's Wish? I think not. Until you can come up with something that has the biting satire of Pinky and The Brain, or the sheer eroticism of Minerva Mink, you'd best hold your tongue. In other words,
A LOSER IS YOU. HOP ON TEH FAILBOAT"
After this, most posters left the thread and it was locked hours later, leaving me the clear victor. |
Do confess. It's obvious where the inspiration came from.
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Latest releases:
Endless Cycles [Capital Heaven]
The Charlatan [Morphosis]
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