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Paradox Lost
In This Twilight



Registered: Aug 2007
Location: San Francisco
The best Craigslist post EVER!

This guy was attempting to sell some basic cinder blocks over CL, and apparently, he received one-too-many of the wrong kind of e-mail. You can tell where the new and colorful edit came in.

Although the posting has long since expired, it's received plenty of circulation.

Warning: Lots of profanity:

quote:
I have approximately 275 to 300 cinder blocks for sale. They are standard 8"x8"x16". They cost about $1.75 plus delivery fees if you buy them somewhere else. I'm asking $1.00 per block.

You pick them up and move them yourself.

Please don't waste my fucking time with endless emails. These are plain old cinderblocks, for fuck sake. You don't need to do an engineering study on the feasibility of using these fucking things as building material. That's what they're for, you fucking idiots. Now listen, we're all busy people here. You want the blocks? Come get the fucking blocks and give me one dollar for every block you take. How fucking hard is that? You don't have to tell me what you're building. I don't give a fuck. I'm not interested in helping you build it either. Why? Because I don't give a fuck. I just want to get these fucking things off my property. So if you want them, get the fuck over here with some money and take them. The next fucking moron that emails me with "I'm building a blah blah blah, and was wondering if..." The answer is NO. Come get the fucking blocks and build it yourself. If I knew how to do masonry, don't you think I'd be using the blocks myself instead of selling them for half fucking price? What the fuck is wrong with you people? The next one of you fucking jackasses that emails me with some sob-story bullshit is getting his email address added to the North American Man/Boy Love Association mailing list.

You want the blocks? Come get the blocks, and don't fuck with me!

Old Post Feb-21-2008 01:42  Palestine
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Ian
Not dead yet.



Registered: Dec 2001
Location: UK

Fuck. I actually need about 200 blocks to build a wall in the garden. I wonder if he'd have mailed them to england

Old Post Feb-21-2008 01:44 
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Rose
hmmm



Registered: May 2007
Location: -

looks like someone was having a good day.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by AustralianGQ
im a failure with females...i will be the real 40 year old virgin i guarentee you

Old Post Feb-21-2008 01:45  Belgium
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MrJiveBoJingles
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jun 2004
Location: U.S.

quote:
Originally posted by Ian
Fuck. I actually need about 200 blocks to build a wall in the garden. I wonder if he'd have mailed them to england

quote:
You pick them up and move them yourself.

Old Post Feb-21-2008 02:23  United States
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Silky Johnson
International Playa Hater



Registered: Nov 2003
Location:

LOL! So awesome. I feel like I wrote it myself!

Old Post Feb-21-2008 02:41 
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kadomony
FRENCH EXPRESS



Registered: Jul 2004
Location: Philly

sounds like when i worked retail.
majority of customers would give me this whole backstory on why they wanted what they were looking for.


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Old Post Feb-21-2008 03:23  United States
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verndogs
GET THE TANK!



Registered: Jan 2004
Location: Sports Discussion Forum - NYC

funny, but I've seen better ones


___________________

quote:
[11:58] Bas //: fuck he's hot

Old Post Feb-21-2008 03:24  Philippines
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Cro_Addict
Shit 'N Piss



Registered: Oct 2006
Location: Detroit (formerly Toronto (formerly Winsdor))

old but good

quote:
Advice for woman seeking $500k+ earning man

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:


- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.



The reply:

quote:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I?m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here?s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here?s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here?s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity?in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won?t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you?re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold?hence the rub?marriage. It doesn?t make good business sense to ?buy you? (which is what you?re asking) so I?d rather lease. In case you think I?m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It?s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as ?articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful? as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn?t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn?t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you?re going about it the right way. Classic ?pump and dump.? I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Old Post Feb-21-2008 04:09  Cuba
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Sushipunk
Flickering, I roam



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Verdafloor

quote:
Originally posted by Cro_Addict


LMAO!

quote:
if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know



___________________

Old Post Feb-21-2008 04:13  Australia
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zoogla
Guest



Registered: Not Yet
Location:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
LOL! So awesome. I feel like I wrote it myself!

Don't flatter yourself.

Old Post Feb-21-2008 04:19 
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miamitrance04
I <3 Sarah Palin



Registered: Sep 2004
Location: West Palm Beach

that reply was sooo freaking awesome hahaha "you're a depreciating asset" hahhaa

Old Post Feb-21-2008 04:23  United States
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wotyzoid
it's not house



Registered: Apr 2007
Location: New Jersey

quote:
Originally posted by Cro_Addict


HAHAH OWNAGE!! Did she reply??


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201

Old Post Feb-21-2008 04:38  United States
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