Confessions of a Lost Girl.....
*warning*
I have put my heart and soul into this, so if you have nothing nice to say, please don't say anything at all. This is a tough subject for me to write about.
Its been a long time since I have posted, I know a lot has changed, and a lot hasn't. I have been a TA for almost 5 or so years now, and this message is just a small thank you, to those who have showed faith in me.
Over the past 2 years I have done a lot of growing up. In the sense of experiences and in my actions. I have slowly crept away from "the scene", realizing what I was doing to my academic life, my family, most importantly myself and un-intentionally drifted away from many friends I would of wished to have kept. I know many of you have been there, watching over through it all, and I thank you all for still believing in me, when I didn't even believe in myself.
I have drifted away from the TA family, and when I think back, its one of my biggest regrets.
Exactly one year ago, I was not me, I was looking in all the wrong places for happiness. When it was standing right infront of me. I turned a blind eye and pretended it wasn't there. I have made my mistakes, and I am to this day living with the consequences.
I have finally caught up in school, though I'm redoing a year, I have made ammends with my family and actually feel apart of it now. I am working in an industry that I love.
It's weird that right now, at this very moment (when I should be finally "finding" myself and realizing where I want to be in my life) I'm feeling more alone then ever. (Maybe thats what made me come back, maybe thats why I'm putting this on a public forum)
I guess this is because in the past, I have found a kind of support, with the people I have met on TA.
What I loved most about TA 5 years ago, was that immediately I felt accepted and that people cared about me. I felt apart of something, though its "just a forum". TA and the people in it, made it more then "just a forum" for me. It was where people who had the same love and passion for music, would come together and share unforgettable experiences. Whether that was during a crazy dinner party, house party, bbq, cottage trip, or club event.
I guess what I'm trying to say is....to those of you who have always believed in me....and watched out for me.....thank you. You guys have meant more to me then you ever know. And I'm sorry for drifting away. I push away the people who care about me, to be close to the people who don't understand who I am. (that is incredibly cryptic)
I'm starting to ramble on.....
basically this is a mini cry for help!....cause I'm lost, and I'm sorry....to all those I have pushed away.
love
dannie aka tamiko
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"It’s not love for music, it’s a passion, and it goes beyond liking, and beyond a hobby, it’s about a way of living. Music is essential for my life."-Armin Van Buuren
"House Music is a universal language spoken and understood by all. You see, House is a feeling that no one can understand, really, unless they're deep into the vibe of House."
"IT'S A SPIRITUAL THING, A BODY THING, A SOUL THING!"
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Even though I haven't met you yet, I totally understand about meeting a bunch of TA's and having the same share in music... I've met a bunch of people on this forum that I talk to and go out with on an almost weekly basis and some of those times are the funnest times I had!
