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the intro is great, but than the kick and the bass comes in and the bass is not really a bass and it clashes with other instruments, the first lead that comes in is sounding dull for my taste, the break should be more interesting IMO, and then again the bass clashes... you got to do some more work on this one, it has potential i can hear you got musical skills but you need to learn how to program synths if you want to make original sounds of your own and i would also recommend learning a bit bout arrangments, as your arrangment is not really smooth and driving, i hope some of it helps you, keep in mind that its only my opinion.
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