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First off, I almost never use the crossfader, I just set the mixing mode on my DJM-300 to "Channel Faders". Good feature btw, since it's very easy to accidentally touch the crossfader when you're mixing.
When it comes to EQ control, I do it differently on every track. I just turn what I feel is right. Lately what I've done when bringing in a new track, is to slam the tune in at max volume on the channel fader, but with appropriate eq settings (depends on the track, sometimes almost at "kill" volumes, other times near max on everything but the bass), then adjust eq's & volume on both channels (sometimes gradually, but most of the time adjusting after maybe 8 or 16 beats, making a more progressive mix) until the transition is complete.
This works really great for me. But of course, everyone develops their own style. If it sounds good, it is good mixing, no matter how you do it. I've seen DJs in clubs manipulating the vinyls in extremely strange ways when doing back-cuing, me, I just rock it back and forth with one finger and then let go with a little push (depending on the weigth and friction of the record). Of course it nice to look cool, but I guess that is something you do when you have been playing for a long time and want to show off a bit.
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