I just had the weirdest dream
So I was at this fancy restaurant and this chick and I were on a date and we started off with wine and then were eating nice food throughout the night blah blah blah. I went to pee and came back and she was all mad and I was all "wut?" and she was like "look at the fucking bill." It was $5,000. She only volunteered to pay $100. I was pissed cuz I didn't think it would be more than $500.
I forced the waitress to give us our menu so we could show her what we ordered and that she overcharged us. Before the menu had had food on it but now it was a blueprint of us and everyone around us. I was circling people's mouths and genitalia saying stuff like "I kissed her, he gave me head," while the waitress was nodding and jotting down the price of each sexual act I and my date had performed on the people around us. My date was like "don't forget you fucked me," and I was like "yeh yeh."
Suddenly I turned to the waitress and was like "wait why are we being charged for this? I could have fucked her for free!" And she was like "yeh but this is an expensive restaurant. See Will Smith is right over there."
I had to think about it so I went into the locker room (at the restaurant) and was talking to all these naked dudes in their 30s. As they put on their clothes they turned into their 60s and were like "yah thank god *I* used my $5,000 for grad school. How about you Jake?" and I was like brb.
I asked the waitress where the main computer was with our info on it so I could destroy it. She said "you can't destroy the information but it's all stored in one computer." I ran around the restaurant to find the 'one computer' located at the front. I pulled it out and ran outside towards the hot tub, yelled at the kids in it "GET TEH FUCK OUT!" and threw it in.
People all dressed in black, and Will Smith, were chasing me with sticks. Finally my best friend drove by and I was like "LET ME IN" so she did and we drove off and she was like "why were you at THAT restaurant?"
c0r version: I got away with freebies at a dream-brothel. Where is your god now?
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