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"I would like to wish you all Merry Christmas.
But in these
politically correct times please accept without any obligation, explicit or
implied, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low-stress, non- addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish
you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not
without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make this country what it is. Without
regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith,
sexual preference or choice of computer platform and operating system of the wishee.
This
greeting is subject to further clarifications or perhaps complete withdrawal,
and is not transferable. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where
prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This holiday
wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good
tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
greeting, whichever comes first, and is limited to replacement of this wish or
issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."
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