So, as of late, some asshole in my office has been clogging the toilet. I'm not sure if it's a result of comically large shits, an overuse of toilet paper or something else, but several people have had to plunge it out and none of us are happy about it. I'd be tempted to blame the draining system, but this is only a recent problem and no hints or forewarnings of it made themselves apparent.

That said, I'm crafting a company wide email calling out whoever did it and asking them to plunge it themselves from now on. I'm accepting forum wide suggestions as to the content of this email. So, what would you write in my situation?


Here's my initial draft

Well, there’s no real couth way to say this.

Someone has been habitually clogging the toilet in the men’s room. I don’t know if it’s a case of comically large bowel movements, an overuse of toilet paper, or trying to flush work down the toilet but I really don’t care. So far, Adam, Scott, and I have had to plunge it out and others may have done so as well. Frankly put, it’s disgusting. If we wanted to play with your feces, we’d replace the toilet in the men’s room with a litter box, sans sand. It isn’t that hard to give the toilet a glance after you’ve flushed to make sure the bowl has drained properly. I don’t think any of us care who the offender us (beyond wanting to smack them around a bit with a blunt object), but the consensus seems to be that if you leave such a mess, you’re obligated to clean it up. I don’t know if the culprit is oblivious, thinks they’re funny, or is just stupid but I think all users of the bathroom would appreciate it if you’d plunge the toilet yourself from now on.

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Originally posted by Ygrene This is deserving of a Lifetime CORe Whore Achievment award.

Last edited by treeboo on Mar-04-2009 at 18:22

happen to my work too
wrote a paper saying please dont do it and it stoped

while i find your note to be funny and sarcastic, i would make it a little nicer and less sarcastic because then they won't feel as ashamed and/or scared to come out and either admit it or just take care of it.

the more condescending you sound, the more that person is not going to want to come forward or risk being caught cleaning it up.

so make it nicer like, "hey we dont care who it is, it happens to the best of us, but we just dont want to clean it up"

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Had a similar situation here too, except it was some bastard pissing all over the seat and the floor.

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Originally posted by woscar Had a similar situation here too, except it was some bastard pissing all over the seat and the floor.

I blame Parkinson.

quote:

Originally posted by woscar Had a similar situation here too, except it was some bastard pissing all over the seat and the floor.

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Originally posted by woscar Had a similar situation here too, except it was some bastard pissing all over the seat and the floor.

I blame Michael J Fox

LOL I just posted a flyer all over our office and in the bathroom of our building because of that. The way it's written makes everybody laugh. We've had great success since we posted it

maybe you should tell the culprit to stop eating bean burritos, subway, and red beans and rice?

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I think you will do best if you just put a sign on the bathroom stall that says

"IF YOU CLOGGED IT, YOU PLUNGE IT! CAUGHT OFFENDERS WHO DO NOT COMPLY WILL BE FORCED TO UNCLOG IT WITH THEIR HANDS! Thanks for the co-operation. Mgmt."

Straight to the point, notifies everyone, kind of funny, and doesn't make the offender feel embarrassed/not want to own up.

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Originally posted by XaNaX i dunno what kind of toilet you have but where I work we have those industrial strength toilets that flush with so much force that if it flushes while you are sitting it can damn near suck your colon out and still somehow the god damn thing ends up clogged. the only thing i can figure is there are two guys on my floor that are at least 400 lbs and maybe their shits are so big that it overwhelms even that strong of a toilet.

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maybe the person is suffering from chrons disease or ulcerative colitis. there are medical conditions from shitting too much

i would know

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