[during a "Diversity Day" exercise; Angela is wearing a sign on her forehead that says "Jamaican."]
Kevin: Hey.
Angela: Hey.
Kevin: You wanna go to the beach?
Angela: Sure.
Kevin: You wanna get high?
Angela: No.
Kevin: I think you do, mon.

[Seriously high level guy, on the value of Diversity & Inclusiveness Training]

All that crap is just for freaks and weirdos to feel good about themselfs... but yeah do it to tick the box and keep them happy eh?

Michael: All right, let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. And I was five, five years old. Couldn't even talk yet.

quote:

Originally posted by Audious Michael: All right, let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. And I was five, five years old. Couldn't even talk yet.

win

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201

Dwight Schrute: Someone forged medical information, and that's a felony.

Jim Halpert: OK, Whoa, all right 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?

Dwight Schrute: [reading from a sheet] Uh, Leprosy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection.

i don't consider myself a hero. you know who's a hero? hiro from heroes. that's a hero

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soundcloud.com/kiskelfacit

57 year old women: *pours water from a kettle over guys head*
"Fucking little shit I'll put it where I want"

(and so ended the argument where the kettle should go in the office, no joke)

Jim Halpert: Just have Dwight punch you.
Michael Scott: Oh, yeah!
[scoffs]
Michael Scott: Well, that would be kinda worthless because I know a ton of 14-year-old girls who can kick his ass.
Jim Halpert: You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?
Dwight Schrute: What belt are they?

Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants... he says something ordinary like... 'yo, thats shizzle.' Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.

Tim:Team leader don’t mean anything mate.
Gareth: Excuse me, it means I’m the leader of a team.
Tim: No it doesn't-it’s a title someone’s given you to get you to do something they don’t want to do, for free. Right? It’s like making a div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it.
Gareth: I think they do.
Tim: No they don’t Gareth.
Gareth: Er, yes they do, because if people were rude to me then I used to give them their milk last, so it was warm.

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Check out my Mashups on Soundcloud

quote:

Originally posted by ZeJayMan Tim:Team leader don’t mean anything mate. Gareth: Excuse me, it means I’m the leader of a team. Tim: No it doesn't-it’s a title someone’s given you to get you to do something they don’t want to do, for free. Right? It’s like making a div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it. Gareth: I think they do. Tim: No they don’t Gareth. Gareth: Er, yes they do, because if people were rude to me then I used to give them their milk last, so it was warm.

lol, too quality

Gareth: My dad, for example, he's not as cosmopolitan or as educated as me and it can be embarrasing you know. He doesn't understand all the new trendy words - like he'll say "poofs" instead of "gays", "birds" instead of "women"..."darkies" instead of "coloureds".

quote:

Originally posted by farley lol, too quality Gareth: My dad, for example, he's not as cosmopolitan or as educated as me and it can be embarrasing you know. He doesn't understand all the new trendy words - like he'll say "poofs" instead of "gays", "birds" instead of "women"..."darkies" instead of "coloureds".

My favourite UK Office quote

Favourite US:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLQKsuogUXo

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quote:

Originally posted by Brizzo "It's all gone Pete Tong" is actually a phrase in Europe, England I believe. Pretty sure that's where Pete Tong got his DJ name from as well.

The infamous Rojam ID. 14 years, 9 months and counting...