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Well, I have a few thoughts for you. Biggest obstacle in my opinion is that you used to many breaks, which kills the flow of energy. Transition 1->2 is too long, tighten it up. 3->4 could also use some tweaking.
The general structure seems to be: bang at the start, become uplifting in the middle and bang out at the end.
Ah yeah, sound quality is awfull, change that, too.
Otherwise, good try! 
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DJ Soulstone - Summer Solstice 2012 [Goa/Full-On]
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