Hi people, I wanted to share with you my latest completed(?) track and would love some feedback, opinions, suggestions for improvement, brutal no-holds-barred criticism, etc etc. Have been working on this one in various incarnations for a few months now - it started out as an ambient tune but I just couldn't resist reworking it into a club version.

"Systole" is the contraction phase of each heartbeat, I thought it would be a good name for a trance track. I'm going for a warm uplifter with a mixture of bright and deeper elements over some summery percussion, I hope you find something in it that you enjoy!

RE-re-edit:
Systole (Re-Re-Edit :P) by immersiv

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But when you lay still, in the fallen tides
That's where I'll be

Last edited by novastorm on Sep-12-2009 at 11:12

Hmmm... this is probably one of the best melodic trance tracks I have heard here in a while. Little bit weak on the low end side but a really good job.

Thanks for sharing.

Cheers
Nem

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That was incredible, this song is amazing. Agreed the bass could be a bit more prominent but otherwise the mixdown is perfect.

Wow thanks guys, really glad and surprised that you liked it. I have updated the original post with a freshened up version, made some adjustments and re-levelled everything to leave a bit of headroom and improve the dynamics (hopefully boosting the low-end in the process) so let me know what you think! It should sound cleaner when played louder now.

big thanks to you both for commenting and also Theran who gave me some invaluable technical advice

___________________
soundcloud.com/immersiv

But when you lay still, in the fallen tides
That's where I'll be

Nice track , great percussions!

I dig man.. nice job, the instruments all had their room to breathe

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Ok, listened in my studio this time and have some different points.

Still sounds nice, but I think the low end actually needs a lot of work.
If I might make a few suggestions... I feel that the kick needs to be a little punchier as it sounds a little like it's dragging behind the rest of the track if that makes sense. I think it needs a bit of click in there for the punch as it's just a thud at the moment.

The bassline is only there in terms of mid freqs.

Whilst it's a lovely track it wouldn't work in a club scenario as it stands due to the fact that a mass of bodies absorb bass and it would get lost in such an environment.

It sounds a little over compressed too, you have some great dynamics in there but it sounds a little crammed together.

Bring the bass out in the mix down, and then reduce the ratio on the compressor on the master.
When you apply a limiter then perhaps use two and have them working half as hard i.e. half on each of what you have now. It will be kinder to your dynamics on final master.

You can hear the bass you have at 7:09 but it's too distant, you may even want to layer it with a sine just to give a bit of meat to the track.

Just my two euros worth.

Cheers
Nem

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https://www.mixcloud.com/Calvin_Karass/

Icrqq, IceColdWater - thanks so much for listening and commenting guys! I shall keep a lookout for your tunes and return the favour

Nem: First off massive thanks for such an in-depth analysis, very kind of you.

Low-end is definitely not my strong point, although I had hoped that the Re-Edit had remedied that somewhat (you listened to the Re-Edit right?), as i added a sub-kick in a possibly misguided attempt at some pound factor haha. The master compressor on the re-edit is set at -3.4db with a ratio of 1.55 so it should be only very light compression. The limiter is switched off, all I've done is increased the gain on the maximiser (not sure what this is called in programs other than Reason) so that the track isn't too quiet when rendered, since all the sliders are down so low to give everything room to breathe.

I did experiment with a sine bass underneath the basslines but had trouble controlling it and just kept hearing it phasing in and out, louder and quieter over the top of everything rather than a nice even sub-bassy hum - VERY annoying so i lost patience with it. I did automate it to dip down on each kick but it was still interfering with something - know the effect I'm talking about? What works for you with this sort of problem? Would you use a continuous sine note sidechained with the kick or use sine stabs between each kick? Thanks again

___________________
soundcloud.com/immersiv

But when you lay still, in the fallen tides
That's where I'll be

Last edited by novastorm on Aug-25-2009 at 10:43

quote:

Originally posted by novastorm Would you use a continuous sine note sidechained with the kick or use sine stabs between each kick? Thanks again

This usually depends on the kick. For this song having it play syncopated 8ths would probably work a lot better than a sidechain

Here we go yeah I really enjoy this tune except for the low bass was too quiet and i think the kick needs a lil boost in the 3khz range to give it some presence.

But other than that i love the warmth of this track its very nice, lots of feel.

Sorry everybody , but im gonna have to go against the grain here, i found it too noisy and the obvious lack of low end cant be adjusted until all of the high end is turned down.

I can hear a melody , but it is swamped in noise , personally , and you dont have to listen if you dont want , I think you should calm down the melody and and its surounding audio to make it stand out more , give it some low end and dont worry if it is too quiet plus this track sounds massivly stereo seperated and compressed, its just that someone pointed out to me that the dynamics of a track can be ruined if you make it too loud before any mastering is involved. A lot of tracks i hear on here are quiet , so are mine , but a quick turn on the volume knob sorts it out.

Hope that helps

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quote:

Originally posted by adi_hanson Sorry everybody , but im gonna have to go against the grain here, i found it too noisy and the obvious lack of low end cant be adjusted until all of the high end is turned down. I can hear a melody , but it is swamped in noise , personally , and you dont have to listen if you dont want , I think you should calm down the melody and and its surounding audio to make it stand out more , give it some low end and dont worry if it is too quiet plus this track sounds massivly stereo seperated and compressed, its just that someone pointed out to me that the dynamics of a track can be ruined if you make it too loud before any mastering is involved. A lot of tracks i hear on here are quiet , so are mine , but a quick turn on the volume knob sorts it out. Hope that helps

lol then i really wonder how you feel about andy blueman's tracks.