How do you guys cope with it?

I ended my first really serious (2+ years) relationship recently and I'm starting to crumble. I know I shouldn't, it would only lead to more pain and misery on both sides. I also know that some of it is pure selfishness, as I can't cope with losing somebody who used to admire and care for me, a mental safety-net if there ever was one. I'm also aware of hindsight-bias, choosing to remember the good things only etc. And yet, I can't help it. How do you guys keep strong until it naturally fades away?

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"Those are my principles, if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

Be social, go out and do things even if you don't feel like it. Stay busy.

Takes time. Hang in there. Go out, stay active, socialize.

edit- What enydo said.

What the rest of the guys said. I will add only that when/if she calls you, don't crumble, be strong. Don't let her manipulate you with some good memories etc. As you said yourself, usually this will lead to more pain in the near future. Keep her silent and stay above the things.

EDIT: And have sex with some other one. Helps and cures.

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Yup, stay busy, surround yourself with friends.

i dont think it ever stops. i mean it gets better but until you find someone new to fill that void, youre basically always going to remember the good times and miss having somone there. It will get easier over time but theres always that missing piece of you until you find someone to fill it.


In other words go get your cock wet.

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quote:

Originally posted by DjWhooCares e-bully

Accept the fact that loss is painful. Make friends with your pain, allow yourself what you consider to be sufficient time to grieve, then hop back on that bike and get to ridin'.

I've also heard that nice, clean Afghani smack works well if the above doesn't.

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Thanks for the advice/support. The circumstances are a bit complicated, though. The last few months have been a long-distance relationship. I already have a hard time not obsessively following her on facebook (a device that definitely made breakups harder, mind you!). I don't want to imagine what'll happen when I'm returning in August. I don't think she'll ever contact me as she completely bocked me on all fronts. I'm the manipulative bastard who took her on an emotional rollercoaster too many times. I can't be with her, but not without her either. Argh..

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"Those are my principles, if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

Then maybe you should be spending your time changing some of your habits, otherwise exactly the same thing will take place the next time, regardless of the person you are with.

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quote:

Originally posted by TranceGiant I'm the manipulative bastard who took her on an emotional rollercoaster too many times. I can't be with her, but not without her either. Argh..

So then are you actually sad for the loss of her, or for the loss of having someone to manipulate? It doesn't sound like you've been real with yourself about what this girl means to you in the first place...and when you are, you'll have an easier time moving on.

Adi, mate, aren't you in the Newest York of all Cities? Have fun, meet people, meat people, and allow yourself to be sad at times. Really, stack your mp3 player full of sad music and listen to it over and over until you lose your voice because you sang "All by Myself" so many times that even your cat now can meow to the melody.

It's okay to mourn.

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quote:

Originally posted by jennypie So then are you actually sad for the loss of her, or for the loss of having someone to manipulate? It doesn't sound like you've been real with yourself about what this girl means to you in the first place...and when you are, you'll have an easier time moving on.

I THINK PIE IS OFFERING POST BREAK UP FLAME PUSSY.

3RD DEGREE BURNS ON A PENIS ISN'T A COOL LOOK.

MY ADVICE: AVOID.

OTHER MENS BE OFFERING SAGE WISDOM THOUGH.

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