just be pushy

This is clearly a situation which calls for tact and discretion. First, you're going to have to go to your new employer during a business day. If someone notices you, pretend you already work there. Next, you're going to have to discretely follow your hiring manager. Make sure they don't notice you're there. They would know if they hired you, or not.

Now here's how you'll seal the deal, so to speak. Wait for the hiring manager to go to the bathroom. They should be having to do a number two. Follow them in there. As soon as they lock the door, step into their line of sight and piss on the floor, right in front of them. Make sure they can see you from the crack between the door and the jam.

Once you're done urinating, look them dead in the eye and tell them, "Everything's going to be alright. Right?" Make sure your voice doesn't waver. You needn't wait for an answer, either. It really is more of a message than a question. It should be as deadpan and emotionless as possible. Now, you can leave knowing that you got the job. Make sure you keep it by repeating the same process with your immediate supervisor.

You'll have established yourself as a ruthless alpha male and they won't report you because it will sound like they've gone nuts, especially after you've charmed everyone in the office with your good looks and charming wit.

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thanks guys, I will follow your advice tomorrow. I will keep you all updated!

quote:

Originally posted by EddieZilker This is clearly a situation which calls for tact and discretion. First, you're going to have to go to your new employer during a business day. If someone notices you, pretend you already work there. Next, you're going to have to discretely follow your hiring manager. Make sure they don't notice you're there. They would know if they hired you, or not. Now here's how you'll seal the deal, so to speak. Wait for the hiring manager to go to the bathroom. They should be having to do a number two. Follow them in there. As soon as they lock the door, step into their line of sight and piss on the floor, right in front of them. Make sure they can see you from the crack between the door and the jam. Once you're done urinating, look them dead in the eye and tell them, "Everything's going to be alright. Right?" Make sure your voice doesn't waver. You needn't wait for an answer, either. It really is more of a message than a question. It should be as deadpan and emotionless as possible. Now, you can leave knowing that you got the job. Make sure you keep it by repeating the same process with your immediate supervisor. You'll have established yourself as a ruthless alpha male and they won't report you because it will sound like they've gone nuts, especially after you've charmed everyone in the office with your good looks and charming wit.

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Man that's a tough position. You really shouldn't have told your current employer anything until you signed on the dotted line with the new one.

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quote:

Originally posted by JD8180 thanks guys, I will follow your advice tomorrow. I will keep you all updated!

you really should not follow the advice posted by EddieZilker. Did you even read his post?

Generally speaking companies don't want to be seen as stealing an employee especially from a business partner. One employee isn't worth jeopardizing their relationship. Because of this I'd prepare yourself for losing your current job and not getting the other.

Last edited by igottaknow on May-01-2010 at 02:39

Just say, "when do I start?" and then go on by saying, "they're hiring a replacement for my position and I would like to give them an estimate of how much time they have."

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Man that's a tough position. You really shouldn't have told your current employer anything until you signed on the dotted line with the new one.

+1. if there was any way to avoid telling the current employer, that woulda been the best course. Now you just have to wait it out it seems. Good luck.

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quote:

Originally posted by butterfly you really should not follow the advice posted by EddieZilker. Did you even read his post?

yes, and it sounded like a good idea. I went to the firm but they wouldn't let me in. I proceeded to drop my pants and start pissing on the glass door, staring dead into the receptionist's eyes while pointing at her. I spelled out "I am an alpha male" with my urine (I drank a gallon of water shortly before to make sure I had enough ammo) and zipped up and left. I really hope this works.

anyway, my manager spoke with me and told me she spoke with the manager at the firm this week and they said it's certain. unless this is a ridiculous joke, I think I'm good.

I couldn't really not tell my employer because the firm doesn't want to jeopardize the relationship with their client (my bank). so they didn't want to hire me unless they were sure that there would be no hard feelings. my manager, CFO, and the president always knew I would leave one day (I was just a peon in the accounting dept with and there was no room for moving up) and were always pretty supportive of that. my manager was the one that actually gave me the contact info for the manager at the firm, telling me that I could always try there if I wanted to look for an auditing firm.