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| quote: | Originally posted by floyd741
I usually go to the pet store and buy some hamsters, only 2 to begin with but you may need more later. I then put the hamsters in a pit and get one all riled up by telling it the other hamster was making fun of it's mom, this pisses them off a lot. So when I finally let him go he starts to charge at the other hamster, poor guy has no idea what's going on. As he's kicking the shit out of the hamster I use a microphone to record the squeals of pain/rage/etc. This microphone is, of course, fed into Ableton Live through my soundcard. Once they stop fighting I listen to what I recorded and cut out any notable parts. Then it's all about stretching, looping, chopping, pitching, licking, sucking, fucking. The only downside is sometimes you don't get enough usable content for a track- this is when you have to go back to the pet store for more hamsters.
That's basically how I start a track, it may or may not work for you but I find it to be pretty reliable. Good luck |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Easy steps to the PRO SOUND:
Open up your CD drive and pour in two cups of Bertolli olive oil. This will give your track a smoother, slick feel.
Then smash a bunch of Rold Gold mini pretzels (at least two hundred) into tiny pieces and dump them into your CD drive as well.
Hit "record" in your sequencer, and then bang with your fists as hard as you can at random on your MIDI keyboard for about five minutes. After you've done this, hit the "quantize" button -- this will turn your notes into an AWESOME uplifting melody.
Add a classic 909 kick drum playing a four-to-the-floor beat and kick the track up to about 180 BPM. Route the kick drum through a vocoder, using the kick drum as the modulator sound and Michael Jackson's "Beat It" as your source sound. This will sound tiiiiiiiiight.
Record the resulting song to analog tape. Put the tape in a traditional brick oven heated to at least 350 degrees Fahrenheit for twenty minutes. This will give your track the extra warmth that every producer craves.
Send the results of this process to a mastering engineer and he'll fix it up to make sound REALLY PROFESSIONAL.
Then send the final thing off to Armin and Tiesto.
You'll be sure to get signed! |
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