Typing as I listen;

Kick is too wooley + woody man - you seem always to go for this type of vengeance sounding woody kick - have you thought to use ones that let the track breathe more?

Dark and pounding bass is nice as are the atmospherics.

1.20ish - getting a little muddy - I think it's that big boxy kick again

first transition could be a little smoother and classier

So I like the vibe and the feel, but if you can get that mixing a lot clearer it will be a better track.

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https://soundcloud.com/butlerrichard

i will try with another kick, i certainly go for old techno kicks usually, but a high pitched one may suit certainly, just a clip and more space in the mix.

I actually really like this, not really having the same problem with the kick that Richard had (but don't ignore him on my account). Love the water sound, but I think you're right - that it is a little loud. Just make sure it keeps its prominence when you're turning it down because I think it adds to the track. Over-all, it sounds like you've got the music bed pretty built up. I didn't really hear one particular element that makes the track stand out but your sound seems to have developed more of a signature than your contest entry for Mad4Brad's tune. Nice work, so far.

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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

Thanks for your feedback Eddie, i've changed the kick and now it sounds better i think, that kick had a long release and the low end of the track sounded a bit cluttered now it sounds better, i've tweaked bass a bit and now it is more brilliant , i am going to send this to Kile tomorrow after testing it in a big system.