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Alright...*snaps knuckles*
I can hear this track being an amazing deep smooth trance tune, but there are some things to work on here.
First, I would lower the tempo a little bit. It seems a little too rushed. Lowering the tempo will also give it that deep feel. Next up is the bass. Don't get me wrong, I love the bass in the track, but it seems kind of outdated with the basic saw-reso rolling thing. You can fix up the bass by trying to find something like a full bass pad and sidechaining it to the kick. The hats in the tune also feel like they're from the Stone Age. Try working with Sounds-of-Revolution or Pakotec Productions' Bizarre Minimal. Those packs have some nice modern hat patterns you might be looking for. The kick is also kinda weird. It's not really doing much. It just seems like some deep percussive. The pad/lead that comes in at 2.20 is enormously cheesy. Either change the sound or add an arp to it to give it a more driving feel.
The entire idea for the tune is great! There's just some updating that needs to be done, and you could have the track play on TATW or GDJB.
Best of luck; can't wait to hear the final version. 
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