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Funniest IRC quotes, EVER , a must read
I found these on http://www.aborior.50megs.com
///.actual IRC logs 3.\\\
(1)
scrotum
scrotum
damn im hungry
(2)
Stinkysteven67: I love married with children. Its a great show.
Lucy17: It's ok, One thing that bugs me about that show,
In the pilot series they had Al bundy sounding like he was from Brooklyn
or something when they are supposed to be from Chicago.
Stinkysteven67: Where do you think brooklyn is dork?
Lucky17: Its in new york goofball, chicago is in illinios.
Stinkysteven67: Oh sorry, I've never been good at geometry.
Lucy17: Umm yea..
(3)
heh, i made up 'heh'
That's a pretty outrageous claim.
i've being sayin it since 96
(4)
wb
ta
np
<@antix> why does everyone talk in two letters these days...
dk
because our society promotes slothenly behaviour
<@antix> ok
(5)
my penis fits in electrical sockets!
(6)
HOW THE [censored] CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M
WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
(7)
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
(8)
There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.
"You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
"I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
"Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."
"N, eh."
"D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...
g-eh
(9)
he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
like, HUGE costume
8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
at some anime con in california
they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
he's riding the elevator down to the con space
doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
(10)
I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
DANNY?!?!?!
MOM?!?!?!?!
(11)
If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
i dont think so
Wanna go camping?
(12)
do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
who?
center for disease control
i said WHO
what? i'm asking you
World Health Organization
(13)
You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. 
Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
err?
THING
someTHING!
(14)
tetris is so unrealistic
(15)
* Basil|ArFr was promised a BJ from a member of the opposite sex if he gets a C in Literature.
I've heard of parents giving gifts for good grades, but this is ridiculous!
(16)
Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
Who me?!
Yes you!
Couldn't be!
Then WHO?!!
Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody ([censored] you i didn't touch the [censored] cookie, bitch)
(17)
I think I'm losing it...
evenpar123: Losing what?
my ability to tell the difference between games and reality
Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."
It was horrible...
ugh
(18)
I want to [censored] Michelle's brains out with my huge [censored] cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
I'll [censored] KILL YOU! !
Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
Dude you have no [censored] clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] the turno thing? haha you [censored] bastard!!
[Privmsg] hehe his mom's gonna [censored] kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] yeah and then he's gonna come [censored] kill us, still I reckon it's worth it
[Privmsg] You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] I'm not gonna post it and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] *phew* spose you have a point
(19)
It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
One of these...has a future.
LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m
(20)
<`rip> when you go into a job interview
<`rip> and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are
<`rip> what do you say
you tell them that youre indecisive
and then stop talking
(21)
I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
(22)
Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
...men.
GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.
(23)
HEY EURAKARTE
INSULT
RETORT
COUNTER-RETORT
QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE [censored] UP
NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
RIPOSTE
ADDON RIPOSTE
COUNTER-RIPOSTE
COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
(24)
I think the people above me are having sex
either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.
(25)
Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
(26)
your grandma opened the shower door
while you were wanking?
yep
it was worse than that
she finished you off?
(27)
Has anyone ever logged into dev0n's FTP?
ouro: that some kind of sexual innuendo?
is that a euphemism?
Possibly
Shhh
I try to be subtle about these things.
in that case, i 'log into dev0ns ftp' all the time
Yeah, she gave me her "login" but she won't reply to my "/msgs"
dude i had 'sex' with her in the 'butt' the other day
oh wait
we're being subtle
(28)
I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
(29)
i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
is that the classy way to say you want to get [censored] in the ass?
(30)
matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
kritical: um no...
matts: um yes
my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph
(31)
BeHeMoTh101 : dude, this one time in school i was looking at this advertisement to a christian club
BeHeMoTh101 : and on the poster it said "who carries your load? jesus does."
BeHeMoTh101 : and i was like, wtf, it's the scrotum
(32)
fUk1n n0n-31337 h4x0rz! t4lk l1k3 n00bZ!!!!
hey, i used to speek like that.. but it don't make you leet with women
WhY u s4y d4t n00b?
cuz my girlfriend dumped me for using numbers when we communicated
u h4d a g1rlfr13nd? fuk1ng 31337!!!!! g1rls s0und 1337!
(33)
I think the last place I would like to be beamed is 'Up scotty'.
(34)
Who would win in a fight? A Z-Fighter from dragon ball z, or a jedi master?
Well, thats a good question, there are alot of things that need to be factored in
Z fighters can fly, shoot big balls of energy, go really fast, and releport etc
Yes but a jedi master can see all of that happen before he does it, and he has a light saber..
I guess this is one of those things in life we will never really know
GOD DAMNIT, Has either one of you ever even SEEN what a pussy looks like?
(35)
Craig> craig's penis - 8===========================D O: - spooky
Your "penis" is less that 3 inches long.
(36)
guess what?? i actually get a cd in my eye just now
how?
i am chewing a cd
and iput it in my hand and it flicked into my eye
Aussiedog: you know cd tops are toxic? :P
HOLY SHIT
ok i spat is otu
how toxic?
coz my mouth is burning a little
(37)
hmm, ive got a sky channel in my room and im watching my dad trying to get porn on it downstairs
(38)
I don't think I have once asked Jeeves a damn thing
I asked him once where i could find some kick-ass porn
What did he say?
he said kickassporn.com
(39)
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
Really? I just came to some porno.
(40)
HELP
Looks like it.
stfu ur just a lamerz newbie i m an expert................
* defected waits for the lame question.
k now how do i make hacker toolz wih irc
plz
(41)
i dont understand
be more pacific
(42)
<@whistler> i just tried to change my pants
<@whistler> and put them on backwards
<@whistler> and didnt realize till i went to take a shit
(43)
i wanked my dog once
haha
i was so pissed
(44)
I wanna be the dell kid.
<@pheer> why?
He's the most honest person I know.
besides Jesus you mean
yeah, but jesus has an action figure. Sellout!
(45)
<[DeViL]PsYcHo> it'll be lonely this christmas, without you to hold
<[DeViL]Chufty> psycho you getting circumsized for christmas?!
(46)
<@brosie > you know what sucks
<@brosie > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie > and you get gangrene
<@brosie > in your nuts
(47)
4*7= 28, 28+2=20 dumbass
(48)
i hate people that can't complete a [censored].
sentence.
damn.
(49)
please no-one send me that stuff about sex in my aol mailbox
i had to turn off my computer cuz all the porn kept popping up
mD5, what's your e-mail? I'll remove you from the list
[email protected]
thank you for removing me from the list
(50)
who the [censored] spells cheque check
err
checks ??
crazney: the americans do...
thats the stupidest thing i've seen this hour
and i've been reading aborior.50megs.com
___________________
KESO!
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This is brilliant!!!
