Your sounds are pretty basic and cheesy. The pad that comes is also completely overpowering your mix. That kick is really harsh too. I can tell you just came right out of hardstyle, this has a lot of hardstyle qualities in it.

I don't know if you're using synth presets or not, but I advise you to experiment with programming your own sounds. It helps you steer clear of that cheesy, overdone sound. Rework your mix, it's pretty harsh the way it is right now.

As for the melodies.. they leave a lot to be desired, in my opinion. The trick to developing a track with a good sound and atmosphere is to have an idea in your head, what you want your track to sound like. Do you want something warm and uplifting, or cold a suspenseful? It's nice to start with a loose guideline, that way you create a nice atmosphere to lure your listener in. It usually works better than grinding out melodies and trying to build something around it without an idea of what you're going for. It also helps you when you're putting instruments together for your specific soundscape.

Don't get discouraged. Where there's the desire to create, there's the potential to improve and achieve great things. Keep working at it!