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embed it for more crits I recon
the intro is pretty dated - and this my be the first and last time I'll ever say this: - I think it needs more insert fx - like reverb and delay to make it a little more lush
why only show us a bit of the track? - not really worth me going into detail if you aren't doing to let me listen. It's not ready to be signed anyway - is that just as far as you've got with it?
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