+++SPOILER ALLERT+++




















Literally the whole fucking movie is a series of quasi Deus ex machina situations and/or unexplainable plot holes created when Nolan and co couldn't think up good enough bullshit to plug the gaps.

Apparently, some (presumably) Middle Eastern country is barbaric enough to have a prison which consists of a giant pit in the ground (are you surprised the country was never named?), operated by ___________, for the purpose of __________, to which random Americans are allowed to be committed to, and which escape attempts are ENCOURAGED and aided with a rope.

And apparently, men are able to escape from said prison, walk to a nearby desert town where they don't speak the language or possess any of the local currency, return to America by plane (for free), and then slip into a city in which every bridge and entrance point has been destroyed.

How were those bridges and entrance points destroyed? By "explosive laced concrete" which work crews had innocently been laying at every fucking point around the city for months, including the entire sub-structure of an (ostensibly new) stadium, and every bridge...all without authorities noticing, or wondering why works were being undertaken in areas which they'd not been contracted.

I could go on and on and rave about the masses of new characters who were introduced with flimsy connections to one another, but fuck it. The plot was as paper thin, clumsy and convoluted as they come.

Oh, we need to jam the signal from reaching the bomb. LUCKY THE BAT COPTER HAS A SIGNAL JAMMER INSTALLED IN IT WHICH WE CAN PRY OUT AND FIT INTO A PERSON'S HAND HUR DUR DUR.

Bane was purposely trying to fuck up Wayne Enterprises stock price, KNOWING Wayne would sell it all to whats-her-face, who would then pretend to be on Wayne's side, even living like a bum in the city for three months, right until that last moment of deception. Even though she already had the company. And the bomb. And Wayne in a pit in the Middle East. PLAUSIBLE.

Of course suspending belief is entirely necessary when watching fictional movies, especially of this type, but jesus, this flick's bombastic turns were ridiculous.

Let's turn over our multi billion dollar company at the drop of a hat!

Or, along with hundreds of other people, follow some freak faced mercenary and help him to blow up a city, with us in it, thereby killing ourselves! Oops, Nolan had plot hole that covered with two paper thin lines at the start about how Bane's men worship him like a god - another thinly veiled allusion to Islamic extremism and Arabs, if the pit wasn't enough.

All this could be excused if there'd been a decent fight scene or something, like every poorly written action movie gets away with. Instead we got a few shitty rapid cutting cam scenes of Batman fighting Bane with punches. No decent martialartsy things, no parkour or flying or anything.

FUCK. THIS MOVIE WAS FRUSTRATINGLY SHIT.

Last edited by chode_breath on Jul-20-2012 at 16:12