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The idea is good, but the length of the song in particular shows the lack of effort you put into developing the idea. Now that's not meant to be a negative criticism towards you, I only mean that you should continue to work with the idea. The lead in particular could use a lot of work. I like the bass. The section in the middle where you stuffed in random sound effects is a ridiculously obvious cop out. In total you have about 30 seconds of decent material, so just take that and work on it.
What you did with your idea is something I do all the time, so I totally get it. You have a cool idea, so you copy+paste it for a couple minutes into your sequencer, throw together a weak outro and stuff some effects or transitions into the middle. What you get with that... "technique", is a track that sounds completely unfinished. Like I said, I liked the idea for about 30 seconds, so take that and run with it. It's a decent idea.
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"I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings." -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
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