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Take a high quality sample of a kick drum, it has to be acoustic, something from a drum machine won't do. Load it into your sampler, then set the ADSR to 0, 8:30, 0 and 0. On the mixer channel first you want an eq, to shave off everything below 25 hz, fucking brickwall it, and shave off whatever you need at the top and then run it into a compressor with a short attack, high release and then shove it up your butt.
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