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i think u should re work your percussion unless u were going for that vibe.
That bassy sounding tom is making the mix muddy, maybe take some of the low mids out of it or turn it down considerably. Also takin out the breathing vocal sample out every now and then would help the track out.
All in all not a bad idea. Just keep working at it,
cheers.
Give mine a listen and tell me what u think
http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...s=#.UiiUocaThXk
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http://soundcloud.com/matthewgonzalez349/tracks >>Check My mixes and Half Ass productions on here  cheers
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