Application for dating with my daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.

Name:_________________________ Date of Birth:___________________
Height:_________ Weight:__________ IQ:_________ GPA:____________
Social Security #:___________ Driver's License #: Number:___________
Boy Scout Rank:_________________ Telephone:____________________
Home Address:________________________________________________
City:__________________________ State:__________ Zip:___________

1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____

4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

5. Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.

6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter
mean to you?

8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?

9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
How often do you attend: ____________________________

11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father
and priest/rabbi?__________________________

12. Please fill in the blanks:

a. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________
b. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my_____________________________
c. A woman's place is in the ____________________________
d. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ______________________________
e. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is______________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises--keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

13. What do you want to be if you grow up?


I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father ____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ______________________________
Signature of State Representative ______________________


Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.

___________________
You have been chosen to represent Earth in Mortal Kombat. Be warned. Although your souls are protected against Shao Khan's evil: your lives are not. I cannot interfere any longer as your Earth is now ruled by the Outworld Gods. These are the words of Rayden...




Trance Rules The World...