this is my freshman year at college and sometimes i really wonder why i am here. i am supposed to be getting a degree in computer science over the next 4 years. next semester i opted to take philosophy (ethics,) astronomy, music theory, and probably 2 more electives completely nonrelated to my major. i should be taking calc2, physics2, data structures, and one elective. i know i do not know what i want to be so i just decided to not take the courses in my curriculum. my dad wants me to graduate in 4 years (ill explain the significance of this in a sec) but, honestly, i want to spend more time here. i feel like everyone in life is so satisfied with a job and an income that they neglect the real important things in life: experience, knowledge, relationships, etc. my dad loves me, i know this, i sometimes feel like i'm letting him down with my decisions because his 'ideal future' for me is nothing like my own aspirations. i am a naturally unselfish person so, naturally, i want to look out for my dad's feelings and do my best to make him approve of what i do. i also know that if he really respects me he will respect my decisions in life and i really feel that the straight path to a career is not for me. school is. travelling is. all these things that people dream of are what i want to do. yeah, i know it seems almost too surreal but if you knew me you might actually be able to believe what i'm saying. albeit there are downtimes, but thats what makes those great time that much more valuable. cu offers this "4-year graduate with a engineering degree" program that i loathe. i want to follow the "7 year learn 3 romance languages, pursue your educational aspirations, make some amazing friends, visit foreign lands, study abroad, and eventually earn a degree and be able to support a family" program. i want to leave school with more than a piece of paper that shows i finished a handful of required courses and proves i can find the derivative of ( 5 x ^ 2 ) / sqrt ( 14 x ) as well as program c++, write DLLs to interface hardware with a motherboard, explain why an elastic collision does not conserve kinetic energy, and build a computer. yeah, i know what yer thinking, this is all so fucking related its sick. it is, isnt it? what the hell is the point of going to school in order to become a slave to money and society. what am i worth if i cant tap into the experiences of the people of our past? what am i worth if i cant write to express myself in a way that reaches people. oh, but i can program. returning to my main point... i know what i'm doing here now. thanks for listening.

-m

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no obstacles between my heart and my words; my lips, the great liaison to my soul.

quote:

Originally posted by SmellsExcellent what am i worth if i cant tap into the experiences of the people of our past? what am i worth if i cant write to express myself in a way that reaches people. oh, but i can program. returning to my main point... i know what i'm doing here now. thanks for listening. -m

you would be worth nothing....as sad as that is.

I feel that in todays world the almighty word "success" is based on how much power or money you gain as we walk through this wonderful thing we call life...very sad...but that is how society measures it.

There is ONE purpose of the life that God gave us (i am not religous by the way)..but that ONE purpose is to be the BEST possible human being we can be...at all costs.....money and power mean nothing in my book anymore.....

not sure if what i said pretains to what you where talking about...but thought i would add a little thought of my own.

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Bring back 1994 NYC clubbing nights, cus the sh*t today is filled with junk parties and DJs that play sh*t House.....Zabiela, Sander, or Howells and all the rest suck and couldnt throw a night like it was in the early 90s in NYC!!!...Screw Twilo - give me Limelight circa 1993!!!

To find out what you really love to do is one of the most difficult things. It doesn't really matter what you're studying or doing right now as long as you remain open and try to clearly understand your own purpose in relation to everything else.

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sig edited: no political imagery allowed. please reref to the sig guidelines

orbax: have you read siddhartha? if you haven't you should. there is no one way to find what you love.

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no obstacles between my heart and my words; my lips, the great liaison to my soul.

I hear you man. Least I think you are on the greener side of the patures. I'm not in University or working (hopefully will find work soon - like the kind of work that will bail me out of debt that i managed to rack up) and have been a bum for a year and 1 month now. I mean it. I manage to get by barely! Fortunately/Unfortunately my parents support me, my visa card. I'm 23 y/o and it's sad i know. Now it's time to face the music. Trying to learn Spanish now and work. Then learn French. Brush up on my calculus. Apply for U in september 2003. Save crap loads of money to get a car or move down to Costa Rica ( I heard it's fine down there w/ currency and all) Say we can be friends Surf the beach all day and learn things that isn't school taught . Gawd I'm such a dreamer. Gotta get back at working world

p.s. it's 0400am local time in toronto, trying to go out and watch the leonids meteor showers but crappy clouds looks like going to ruin everything.

Shiat why did I post that? Gotta hide and lay low for awhile now