Registered: Sep 2001
Location: Sunny Stevenage, UK
Funny Instructions
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Nov-20-2002 21:59
halo
...
Registered: Jul 2002
Location: GTA #303 ;P
Some of those are actually quite important.
Remeber the sory of the Granny trying to dry her cat in the microwave oven? She went to court and and actually won because there was no "don
't put live animals in it" sign...
Sad but true. It's better to print some stupid warnings than to pay big money if someone gets hurt.
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Nov-20-2002 22:20
Teknikol
terug uut 'de west'!
Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Flakkee
these are quite funny, but neccesary for some (stupid?) people
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Nov-20-2002 23:05
Ekstasis
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Apr 2002
Location: around
Re: Funny Instructions
quote:
Originally posted by Muppet1969
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
When I was 4 or 5. I actually put on my superman costume, and jumped out of a window. I fell about 20 feet and got hurt fairly badly.
Originally posted by Ekstasis
When I was 4 or 5. I actually put on my superman costume, and jumped out of a window. I fell about 20 feet and got hurt fairly badly.
Wish mine had that warning.
Do you honestly think you would have read it? Even if you could read well enough at that age? (I don't remember how old your supposed to learn to read).
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Nov-21-2002 06:52
webmeister
beats that go thump
Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Sydney Australia
uhh .. these aren't warnings to protect stupid people, these are warnings to protect us again lawyers. they are only there because people don't want to take responsibility for their own actions and up winning ridiculous sums of money because it's "someone else's fault"
at least the signs are a laugh though
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Nov-22-2002 11:27
Technaut
tuanhceT
Registered: Nov 2001
Location:
quote:
Originally posted by webmeister
uhh .. these aren't warnings to protect stupid people, these are warnings to protect us again lawyers. they are only there because people don't want to take responsibility for their own actions and up winning ridiculous sums of money because it's "someone else's
the law school training has done you well toadie
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Nov-22-2002 13:17
Halcyon21
Senior tranceaddict
Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Mo~bile, AL
Re: Funny Instructions
quote:
Originally posted by Muppet1969
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
lmao at that one
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Nov-22-2002 18:25
sharpeye00
b-1 massiv
Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Michigan
i bet you most of these were printed on for legal reasons after some retard did exactly what the warning warns of. how often do you without reading the warning stop a chainsaw with your hand?
its kind of like Darwin's survival of the fittest if you dont know enough to keep your hand away from a spinning chain then let you be damned and be killed off so your dumb gene won't be passed to future generations heh.
my 2 cents.
Nov-23-2002 06:52
webmeister
beats that go thump
Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Sydney Australia
quote:
Originally posted by Technaut
the law school training has done you well toadie
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Nov-23-2002 14:14
Lira
Ancient BassAddict
Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Brasilia, Brazil
Re: Funny Instructions
quote:
Originally posted by Muppet1969
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
Don't you understand? You're allowed to open the damn thing before buying it
quote:
Originally posted by Muppet1969
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
hehe, I know people who wouldn't wait this long No, I'm not talking about myself
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Nov-23-2002 21:03
Fir3start3r
Armin Acolyte
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Toronto, ON, Canada
quote:
Originally posted by Technaut
the law school training has done you well toadie
Toadie.....lol!!!!
That made me laugh....
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Funny Instructions
, but neccesary for some (stupid?) people
