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Jokes part 68
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge
quietly reviews some papers and then says,
"Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce."
"Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house."
The Judge replies,
"What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story
house?"
The man answers,
"Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is
'It's that time of the month.'"
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A guy walked into the bar looking like he'd been run over by a
truck. His hair was matted, his face bloody and scratched, his clothes
torn. His friends bought him a
beer, then asked, "What happened?"
The guy chugged the beer and said, "I was fighting for Joanne's
virginity."
"No kidding?"
"Yeah. But that little bitch was determined to keep it."
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Two guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying
tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked
down their ladder.
"I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you
down, and then you can pick up the ladder."
"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea.
I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down
on the beam of light."
"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just
turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."
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Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says,
"I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles,
then."
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An other blonde joke.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided
to hire herself out as a handyman type
person and started canvassing a well-to-do
neighborhood. She went to the front
door of the first house and asked the owner if
he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How
much will you charge?" The blonde
said "How about 50 dollars?"The
man agreed and told her that the paint and other
materials that she might need
were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the
house, hear the conversation and
said to her husband, "Does she realize that the
porch goes all the way around the
house?" The man replied, "She should,
she was standing on it." A short
time later the blonde came to the door to collect
her money. "You're finished already?"
he asked."Yes," the blonde answered,
"and I had paint left over, so I gave it
two coats." Impressed, the
man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's
not a Porch, it's a Lexus  
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