Become a part of the TranceAddict community!Frequently Asked Questions - Please read this if you haven'tSearch the forums
TranceAddict Forums > Archives > Classic old threads / Inactive Forums > Retired Forums > Humour / Funny Stuff / Cool Web Sites > ........3 jokesssss.......
Pages (2): [1] 2 »   Last Thread   Next Thread
Share
Author
Thread    Post A Reply
Henkie_henk
Almighty Trance Addict



Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Viva Hollanda

A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.
On his way home he stops at a news stand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29". "I am actually 47". This makes him feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my sight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought why not and let her slip her hand down his pants. A minute later the old lady says,"OK You are 47."
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds




------------------------------------

Whats the definition of agony???
A one armed man haniging to a cliff with itchy balls


What is the definition of desparate???
A vampire suking on a used tampon.

-------------------------------------


___________________

-
-
http://www.rustzachtpim.tk/
-
-
Rust Zacht Pim

Old Post May-10-2001 07:54 
Click Here to See the Profile for Henkie_henk Click here to Send Henkie_henk a Private Message Visit Henkie_henk's homepage! Add Henkie_henk to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
Blik
The Almighty Blik



Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Rosmalen, Holland

hehe, the first one is great, really awsome


___________________
Alsof Het G*dverdomme Himmel Niks Kost!!!

Old Post May-10-2001 10:43 
Click Here to See the Profile for Blik Click here to Send Blik a Private Message Visit Blik's homepage! Add Blik to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
Dj Lex
Respect the Lex



Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Spijkenisse, Holland

Yes I agree with Blik, that first one is quality.

Mzzl


___________________

Old Post May-10-2001 10:59  Netherlands
Click Here to See the Profile for Dj Lex Click here to Send Dj Lex a Private Message Add Dj Lex to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
-=WVG=-
Alsofhetnikskost.NL



Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Den Dungen

hehe, the Vampire-joke is also cool


___________________
Signature Suspended as it was deemed offensive

Old Post May-10-2001 12:29 
Click Here to See the Profile for -=WVG=- Click here to Send -=WVG=- a Private Message Visit -=WVG=-'s homepage! Add -=WVG=- to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
wasmario
1st Austrian TrancEaddict



Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Vienna- Austria- Europe

1) + 3) are very cool!! especially 3) he he he *dirty_smile*


___________________


Member of the 21 SOUNDSYSTEM

Trance in the morning and the day is your friend!

Old Post May-10-2001 14:58  Austria
Click Here to See the Profile for wasmario Click here to Send wasmario a Private Message Visit wasmario's homepage! Add wasmario to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
Linx_da_cat
trancEaddict kitkat



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: in a nutshell

lol. good ones henkie. the first one rocks. hehehe.

i forget...my friend read a book about vampires and there was this one really disgusting part where the vamp actually licks a pad that had been...'used' by a virgin....*cough* wtf....

Old Post May-10-2001 15:04 
Click Here to See the Profile for Linx_da_cat Click here to Send Linx_da_cat a Private Message Add Linx_da_cat to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
Fraggle
trancEaddict Neverland



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Sydney, AUSTRALIA
Talking hehhhhe!!! while we're on the topic

A bear and a rabbit are out in the woods, and both need to have a dump urgently...so they each go behind a different tree and deposit a hefty amount of shit.
once finished they meet up again, and the bear says to the rabbit "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
to which the rabbit replies "No, i don't"
So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.
=========================

A young girl asks her mother, "Mum, why is my name petal?"
Her mother replies "When you were born a petal fell on your head."
"Oh," she replies.
One of her sons asks her, "Mum why is my name leaf?"
She answers, "When you were born, a leaf fell on your head."
"Oh," he says.
Then the woman's other son goes up to her and asks,
"ngangungunganga?" with an obvious mental problem.
The woman says, "Shut up fridge!"
=========================

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"
So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk.
"Randy", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, he strutted into the henhouse.
Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen.
But Randy didn't stop there; he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace.
Then he went to the pigpen, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out "Stop, Randy, you'll kill yourself!" But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.
Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Randy.
The farmer walked up to Randy saying "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you, little buddy". "Shhhhh," Randy whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer"
=========================

hehee!!! hope u haven't heard them b4


___________________
Peace 'n Love! • Mikey • Sydney, Australia.

Old Post May-10-2001 15:14  Australia
Click Here to See the Profile for Fraggle Click here to Send Fraggle a Private Message Visit Fraggle's homepage! Add Fraggle to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
ftnb
The 1st Panamanian TA.



Registered: Jan 2001
Location: panama
Exclamation

bahahaaha, all of those were hilarious hahahahaha... the rooster one ive heard a million times, but always still funny, better when said live though, and the first joke on the thread was in a maxim a wihle back... that one was funny also.. and the bear and the rabbit one i hadnt heard, i found that one pretty kewl too.. the vampire one is kinda sick, but yap... oh well..

Old Post May-10-2001 19:06  Panama
Click Here to See the Profile for ftnb Click here to Send ftnb a Private Message Add ftnb to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
PinkLollypop
lol*E*addict



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Toronto Canada

another vampire joke:

3 vampires come to a restorant, they take a look at the menu and call a waitress
the first vampire sais: "I'm gonna have some raw kidney salad with blood sause"
the second vampire sais:"I'm gonna try this blood soup with eye balls"
and the third vampire said: "can i have a glass of hot water"
the first and the second vampires go:"What's wrong with you? Are you sick or something? Aren't you gonna get something bloody?"
and the third vampire reaches into his pocket and pulls out a used tampon : " I just wanna have some tea"


___________________

Fly With Me

Old Post May-12-2001 01:51  Russia
Click Here to See the Profile for PinkLollypop Click here to Send PinkLollypop a Private Message Add PinkLollypop to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
wasmario
1st Austrian TrancEaddict



Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Vienna- Austria- Europe

quote:
Originally posted by PinkLollypop
another vampire joke:

3 vampires come to a restorant, they take a look at the menu and call a waitress
the first vampire sais: "I'm gonna have some raw kidney salad with blood sause"
the second vampire sais:"I'm gonna try this blood soup with eye balls"
and the third vampire said: "can i have a glass of hot water"
the first and the second vampires go:"What's wrong with you? Are you sick or something? Aren't you gonna get something bloody?"
and the third vampire reaches into his pocket and pulls out a used tampon : " I just wanna have some tea"


ha ha ha ha ha ha


whoooohaaa he he he he this was fucking awesome


___________________


Member of the 21 SOUNDSYSTEM

Trance in the morning and the day is your friend!

Old Post May-12-2001 14:49  Austria
Click Here to See the Profile for wasmario Click here to Send wasmario a Private Message Visit wasmario's homepage! Add wasmario to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
PinkLollypop
lol*E*addict



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Toronto Canada

when you tell this joke in person : during the last line do that movement that you usually do when you dip a tea bag into water -> people will laugh forever after this


___________________

Fly With Me

Old Post May-12-2001 15:10  Russia
Click Here to See the Profile for PinkLollypop Click here to Send PinkLollypop a Private Message Add PinkLollypop to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message
PinkLollypop
lol*E*addict



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Toronto Canada

here is another joke

a newspaper ad:
tall blonde female with big ( o )( o ) and beautiful ( Y ) would like to meet a man with big 8=== .Those with %= don't even bother me.


___________________

Fly With Me

Old Post May-12-2001 18:30  Russia
Click Here to See the Profile for PinkLollypop Click here to Send PinkLollypop a Private Message Add PinkLollypop to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message

TranceAddict Forums > Archives > Classic old threads / Inactive Forums > Retired Forums > Humour / Funny Stuff / Cool Web Sites > ........3 jokesssss.......
Post New Thread    Post A Reply

Pages (2): [1] 2 »  
Last Thread   Next Thread
Click here to listen to the sample!Pause playbackID needed for this trance track 'Sunset 2005' [2006] [8]

Click here to listen to the sample!Pause playbackHead Honcho - "Walls Of Jericho" [2002]

Show Printable Version | Subscribe to this Thread
Forum Jump:

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:25.

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
[IMG] code is ON
 
Search this Thread:

 
Contact Us - return to tranceaddict

Powered by: Trance Music & vBulletin Forums
Copyright ©2000-2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Privacy Statement / DMCA
Support TA!