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| quote: | Originally posted by Dj_Psygnosis
are you serious?, damn that is scary. |
yes, it is.
Here is a poem i wrote the day after. I don't mean to detract from the traggic loss above, but i thought that reading this might help imprt2nr deal with his loss. writing the poem helped me at the time. now, a year after his death, i still cry when i read it, and miss him so much:
For Will
I heard the news
sitting in my office chair
where you once stood
not 2 feet from me
I was lost
I didn't know how to feel
I've never grieved in my life, I don't know how
I guess it will be the last lesson you teach me
but it won't be the first
you taught me many lessons brother
in the short time I knew you
you taught me how to let my inner light shine for everyone to see
you showed me what true human kindness is
you inspired me to be the person I am
you may have passed on into the next life
but your legacy remains here with us
I can feel you with me still
I went home that night
still unsure of what to feel
I picked up your firestaff
felt the weight of it in my hand
and I knew what I had to do
I walked outside, and I knelt in the snow
I unwrapped your staff, it took a long time
I was never as good at it as you were
I stayed on my knees in the snow,
until my they hurt from the cold
until they grew numb
and until they started hurting again
We assembled your staff solemnly
We soaked it in fuel,
We held it over a candle to light it
it was never easy with that staff
you know that
I stood there hoping it would light
watching the stubborn flame lick the cold metal
Then, I remembered another lesson you had taught me
the power of the mind, and how to channel my energy
I Willed the flames to grow, to engulf the wicks
Then I watched my visualization come to life before my eyes
I felt you then
I felt you feeling what I was doing
and smiling that big smile of yours
Soon your staff was ablaze
I watched as it was spun, with power, with grace
and when it went out, I solemnly dipped it again
for it was my turn now.
I took ahold of it, and I could feel it humming with your power
It wanted to move, to trace beautiful circles through the air
I took off my jacket and shirt, and threw them aside
tonite, I wanted to be cold.
I took your staff, and I danced my heart out.
dipping and swirling and twisting,
making tracks in the snow, and through the air.
your staff is heavy, it dragged my body around as I spun it
I felt you then too. helping me.
I felt you dragging me around, helping me complete the rotations
I spun it above my head, as you had done so well.
I spun it between my legs, like you showed me how to.
I had been waiting to do that trick you taught me, in the snow
The one between the legs, where the staff just skims the ground
It was beautiful, I saw your face in the dancing reflections in the snow.
I will think of you every time I do that trick brother.
I will never forget you.
and when I was done, your wicks finally extinguished, my body limp from exhaustion
I dropped your staff to the ground from which it came
and I fell backwards into the snow
lying there, staring up into the sky
I took deep breaths, and told myself I wasn't cold
I wanted to feel what you felt
I wanted to know what it felt like to have my mortal body freeze
While my soul burned on in hot defiance of the elements
I layed there and felt the cold penetrate me,
felt my back go numb, my shoulder muscles cramp
and I feel that I know, at least a little
how you felt that fateful day in the lake.
Will, you were my friend and my brother
I know that you died unafraid of the next life
I know that you were at peace with yourself and god
I know you are still with us, in our hearts, and in our memorys
your legacy will live on.
and tonite, we will dance again for you.
Rest in Peace brother.
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