10 Things You Don't Know About Women
10 Things You Don't Know About Women
By Saira Mohan
February 2003, Volume 139, Esquire
1. Don't ask us what time it is. When was the last time you approached a gorgeous girl with the old "Do you have the time?" line and she responded with, "It's two-thirty . . . and, by the way, are you free for dinner?"
2. Never follow us. Unless you are a dog.
3. Eye contact should last exactly 0.28 seconds. The quickest glance is the most effective. Treat us like the sun during a solar eclipse.
4. We're always chilly. Take your jacket off and delicately wrap it around our shoulders. But watch it: Don't plan, for even a second, on using your arms, mister.
5. We hate it when you are late. If you're late, it's over before it began.
6. Never ask us to your place on the first date. We don't know you from Ted Bundy, and even if your intentions are pure, we'll think you just want to have sex.
7. Don't try to seduce us with a trip. You're going to Hawaii next week for a three-day seminar? If you're thinking about inviting us, forget it. The offer alone scares the bejesus out of us.
8. Pick the weirdest part of our body and compliment it. The left elbow, the forehead, shins. Just be creative.
9. Conversely, pick the most obvious part of our beauty and forget about it. Men who compliment our eyes should be taken out back and flogged by a fat Bulgarian dog trainer.
10. We're worth the effort. What else needs to be said?
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