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JohnSmith
Agent Smith

Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Kamloops
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A very interesting question.
I used to believe it was OK to flirt online, as long as you didn't have physical contact. However, i have since changed my mind.
I am in a committed relationship, and will be married to my fiance in a few months. we have been together for 8 years.
A year or so ago, i started an online relationship with a girl i met in school. We flirted with each other, on an increasing basis for several months. it was nothing major, not cybersex or anything, but it was an emotional relationship. i began to care about her, and her about me. I was starting to sense that i would have to break things off after I realized that i looked forward to talking to her. then she sent me an email saying she had always wanted me, and asked me to dump my girlfriend for her.
I then told her to get out of my life. It was unfortunate, because i did care about her as a friend, but she ruined that friendship.
There was no physical contact, but this SEVERLY damaged my relationship. I told my girlfriend all about it, how we had talked, and how i had shot her down. however, even the suggestion that i had flirted with another girl really hurt my girlfriend. to this day, if she hears that name, she feels hurt. and she doesn't trust me either, i have made a deep wound in my relationship, and for that i am truly sorry.
flirting is not cheating, there is a difference, but flirting is far from harmless. if you let it go to far, the person you are flirting with can replace in your heart the person you are with, and then, your relationship will surely fail. I was barely able to save mine, and i hope my post may convince other people to stop and think for a minute, about what they want, and what the consequences of their actions may be.
___________________

Visit my site Antiwar Homepage
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Feb-11-2003 19:41
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kirbtastic
Supreme tranceaddict

Registered: Dec 2002
Location: jersey, usa
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| quote: | Originally posted by JohnSmith
A very interesting question.
I used to believe it was OK to flirt online, as long as you didn't have physical contact. However, i have since changed my mind.
I am in a committed relationship, and will be married to my fiance in a few months. we have been together for 8 years.
A year or so ago, i started an online relationship with a girl i met in school. We flirted with each other, on an increasing basis for several months. it was nothing major, not cybersex or anything, but it was an emotional relationship. i began to care about her, and her about me. I was starting to sense that i would have to break things off after I realized that i looked forward to talking to her. then she sent me an email saying she had always wanted me, and asked me to dump my girlfriend for her.
I then told her to get out of my life. It was unfortunate, because i did care about her as a friend, but she ruined that friendship.
There was no physical contact, but this SEVERLY damaged my relationship. I told my girlfriend all about it, how we had talked, and how i had shot her down. however, even the suggestion that i had flirted with another girl really hurt my girlfriend. to this day, if she hears that name, she feels hurt. and she doesn't trust me either, i have made a deep wound in my relationship, and for that i am truly sorry.
flirting is not cheating, there is a difference, but flirting is far from harmless. if you let it go to far, the person you are flirting with can replace in your heart the person you are with, and then, your relationship will surely fail. I was barely able to save mine, and i hope my post may convince other people to stop and think for a minute, about what they want, and what the consequences of their actions may be. |
that is not flirting..that is cheating. u let feeling get involved and also did it behing your girlfriends back. ive been flirting with a girl online for 2 years..she lives in Pennsylvania..we have a good time talking..but when i lay in bed at night i never think about her or ever thought about breaking up with someone for her.
___________________

pixel8edconcepts.com :: new flash site in the works
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Feb-11-2003 20:03
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irish_4_you
tranceaddict in training
Registered: Nov 2002
Location: NH
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It all depends. Some people flirty for fun. If its all for fun, then its ok cause its meaningless. If it means anything to the person flirting, then its excessive. Any flirting with substance is more than flirting for fun.
Irish
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Feb-11-2003 20:04
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Arbiter
Naked Power Organ

Registered: May 2002
Location:
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A relationship that can be damaged by words alone probably isn't one worth maintaining, if you ask me. But what's really important is to make sure you and your partner understand each others expectations for behavior. Personally, I don't think I'd ever be happy in a relationship with a woman who thought she was justified in telling me what kind of internet correspondances I ought to be keeping. It shows a lack of trust, and to me, if a woman doesn't trust me, she doesn't respect me. I don't think that's the basis for a healthy relationship.
Perhaps I have a very liberal perspective on the way relationships ought to be, but I think the notion that partners in a long term relationship should have to sacrifice freedom in order to be together is outdated in this day and age. I think that through communication, understanding, and openness, we can achieve healthy long term relationships where these kind of strict controls are not necessary.
If my girlfriend wanted to flirt with other guys online, I wouldn't have a problem with it, provided that she wasn't going out of her way to hide it from me, and I know she would provide me with the same degree of trust and freedom that I allow her. We are secure enough with ourselves and with each other that we don't feel threatened by that sort of activity. I think that is an essential component of a good relationship, and I think that if it's lacking, it is a sign of more profound underlying problems.
Regards,
Arbiter
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Feb-11-2003 20:55
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Spyder
Anti BS Alliance

Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Toronto CDN
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Feb-11-2003 21:35
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