Things Not to Say During Sex #1. "But everybody looks funny naked!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #2. "You woke me up for that?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #3. "Did I mention the video
camera?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #4. "Do you smell something
burning?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #5. (in a janitor's closet) "And
they say romance is dead..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #6. "Try breathing through your
nose."

Things Not to Say During Sex #7. "A little rug burn never hurt
anyone!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #8. "Is that a Medic-Alert
Pendant?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #9. "Sweetheart, did you lock the
back door?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #10. "But whipped cream makes me
break out."

Things Not to Say During Sex #11. Person 1: "This is your first
time..right?" Person 2: "Yeah...today"

Things Not to Say During Sex #12. (in the No Tell Motel) "Hurry
up! This room rents by the Hour!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #13. "Can you please pass me the
remote control?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #14. "Do you accept Visa?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #15.
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Things Not to Say During Sex #16. "On second thought, let's turn
off the lights."

Things Not to Say During Sex #17. "And to think- I was really
trying to pick up your friend!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #18. "So much for mouth-to-mouth."

Things Not to Say During Sex #19. (using body paint) "Try not to
leave any stains, okay?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #20. "Hope you're as good looking
when I'm sober..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #21. (holding a banana) "It's just
a little trick I learned at the zoo!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #22. "Do you get any premium movie
channels?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #23. "Try not to smear my make-up,
will ya!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #24. (preparing to use peanut
butter sexually) "But I just steam-cleaned this couch!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #25. "Got any penicillin?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #26. "But I just brushed my
teeth..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #27. "Smile, you're on Candid
Camera!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #28. "I thought YOU had the keys to
the handcuffs!?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #29. "I want a baby!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #30. "So much for the fulfillment
of sexual fantasies!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #31. (in a menage a trois) "Why am
I doing all the work?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #32. "Maybe we should call Dr.
Ruth..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #33. "Did you know the ceiling
needs painting?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #34. "I think you have it on
backwards..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #35. "When is this supposed to feel
good?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #36. "Put that blender back in the
kitchen where it belongs!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #37. "You're good enough to do this
for a living!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #38. "Is that blood on the
headboard?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #39. "Did I remember to take my
pill?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #40. "Are you sure I don't know you
from somewhere?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #41. "I wish we got the Playboy
channel..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #42. "That leak better be from the
waterbed!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #43. "I told you it wouldn't work
without batteries!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #44. "But my cat always sleeps on
that pillow..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #45. "Did I tell you my Aunt Bertha
died in this bed?"

Things Not to Say During Sex #46. "If you quit smoking you might
have more endurance..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #47. "No, really... I do this part
better myself!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #48. "It's nice being in bed with a
woman I don't have to inflate!"

Things Not to Say During Sex #49. "This would be more fun with a
few more people..."

Things Not to Say During Sex #50. "You're almost as good as my
ex!"

Last edited by jp on Feb-11-2003 at 18:54