thats a hella deep thought mate, but i can totally relate to what your saying.

my last 5 years since leaving school have been utter shit, about 6 of my friends have died, everything ive ever tried to do not only didnt werk out, but made me worse off, ive been massivley depressed and got a bit of a drink problem now.

But over these last few weeks things have started going right again, meeting lots of girls, i finally got a job doing what i want to do after 6 months without a job. and i generally feel happy again. all the little things that used to go wrong in my life, little stupid things that should have just gone right, are now going right.

Im not religious at all, but i think i beleive in fate. after all theres no other way i could have ended up in the mess i was in, and then all of a sudden things start to get better, i guess its sumthing that you just have to live with unfortunatly, ppl say you make your own luck in life, thats absolute new born baby shit, ive tried moving into a house of my own, moving to another country, and fuckjed up everysingle time,. and for every step forward i took, it would push me 10 steps back, the phrase 'only the strongest will survive', you just gotta hang in there mate

if you do want anyone to talk to about stuff, id say im a pretty good candidate, ask any of the ukta's

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Bring it on down son, so you can get done, I got more styles than the miles to the sun,
Ninety three million five thousand flows, and heres one more for the HOoOoOoOOO'S!!!

Well things have been going preety bad for me for the alst 3 years, so i think i deserve a little brake (hey god you wanker do you hear me!) If everything goes right my bad luck should be ending my the end of next week if not...im in for another year of deep shit

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dude, this is what has happened in my house the last 24 hours:

1. My computer monitor died
2. My backup monitor has started giving out
3. The transmission on my car died
4. The washing machine died
5. My headphones (AAAAAAARRRRGH) broke
6. I got stomach flu

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//..

Like i see myself, 21, accomplished pretty much nothing, gone where and don't have muc to show for myself...

Each time i try sumthing i suck @ it, college, sucked, uni im trying that atm, and freeken hard like shit... i can't seem to get above 6/10 for anything... let alone pass things...

I can't seem to progress.. which kinda sux...

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Cause back before '99, U didn' give a damn about PvD, but now that he's pressin' platinum LP's, all of a sudden ur' into
his killer beat's! Ain't nothin' U can do to make it stop cause trance makes the world go round, so cut the act...

[My Website]

quote:

Originally posted by Moongoose (hey god you wanker do you hear me!)

werd..

i think we r in the age that everythings going wrong..or we thing that everything is going wrong

im at uni rite now..1st year..i didnt pass ne lesson (lol)
im not seeing my mates from school at all
i cant hav a normal relationship..just occasionally shags
ive never tried work in my life..(lazy bastard)
what else hmmmm...

plus im on a fuckin dial-up most of the time
and last nite a giant-f0x-pimple came up on my nose

quote:

Originally posted by blank and last nite a giant-f0x-pimple came up on my nose

That would explain the expression the guy in the avatar has on his face...can totaly relate to that


Anyway...im sortof scared becouse i hear from anyone that the best aprt of your life is when your at school...so ok i get to have aprties now and then but right now the stress is killing me. I need to pass 5 exams in the enxt 2 weeks. If i dont i cant go to uni, and will probalby have to work for a year which preety muchs cucks, becouse i jsut turned 20 and id like to be yunger that 30 by the time im finished with school

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quote:

Originally posted by Mosaic dude, this is what has happened in my house the last 24 hours: 1. My computer monitor died 2. My backup monitor has started giving out 3. The transmission on my car died 4. The washing machine died 5. My headphones (AAAAAAARRRRGH) broke 6. I got stomach flu

Why this shit happened:

1. It's probably a Hyundai (or something similar)
2. see above
3. Ford
4. Kenmore
5. Kensington (or Optimus, what's the difference, maybe even Memorex)
6. Eating leftover tuna with chocolate from last night

Last edited by Turbonium on Aug-28-2003 at 18:04

basically i am bi-polar. For the last 15 years or so depression has been a major struggle for me. Ive tried different anti-depressants, ive tried other chemicals, I tried being a total drinker. every time one of these things failed I would get more depressed. I didnt care about school and got bad grades. Another thing to be depressed about. Then because of those grades all my friends went to the universities and moved away. another thing to be depressed about. No girl wants to hang out with a depressed loser all the time...another.life just wasnt gettin anywhere. I was weak and skinny, yet still had a bit of a gut. man...life sucked. I never considered suicide, but I thought about it...

Basically i needed a kick in the ass. i wasnt depressed ALL The time. it was usually just a week or two every month or so. and during my happy periods I would scuba dive, or rock climb, or go on hikes.

that got me to thinkin. am i happy because i do this stuff, or do i do this stuff cuz im happy. turned out to be a bit of both.

anyways. i entered into the community college, still was getting the same shit grades. Then i took some law classes and realized i want to go to law school. first quarter past a 2.8, i go a 4.0 (perfect). The next quarters would see me taking 25 credits (5 classes, 2 more classes than a "full load") and getting 3.8s. That coincided with my new workout program where I was getting results and comments on the new look. I was running regularly because of the way it balanced my brain chemicals out.

now its two years from THAT. and i havent been depressed in over a year, an amazing record. Depression can either be chemical or situational and a lot of times the boundary blurs. But you have to realize that you need BALANCE in your life. everything in moderation. that doesnt mean everything you do, that means you should do pretty much everything (excepting shitty stuff like hard drugs and stuff). force yourself to walk around your local park, i think outdoors/nature is one of the best natural anti-depressants ever. realize the beauty of what you have and is around you.

be happy with who you are, because thats all you are ever going to be, is you. i have a couple of depressed friends, and its takes a long time to get past the self-hate.

I know sometimes it seems that "life" sucks, but its really just YOUR life that sucks hehe, not to rub it in. im making the point that LIFE itself is amazing, how come so many who share in it are unhappy? Not living up to full potential is key. We feel limited in our behaviors, suppressed at work and by the market. I think that if you give yourself half a chance, youll find that you have done pretty damn well at those things you honestly tried hard at. People arent stupid, they are just dumb about how they use their brain.

if you read all that cheers, its a bit of a rant/motivational(kind of) message. but here is one(of many) thing that Guy Kawasaki said in a baccalaureate speach:

Pursue joy, not happiness.It probably seems to you that the goal in life is to be "happy". Oh, you maybe have to sacrifice and study and work hard, but, by and large, happiness should be predictable.

Nice house. Nice car. Nice material things

Take my word for it, happiness, is temporary and fleeting. Joy, by contrast, is unpredictable. It comes from pursuing interests and passions that do not obviously result in happiness. Persuing Joy, not happiness, will translate into one thing over the next few years for you: Study what you love.

I looked at what fields had the greatest opportunities and prepared myself for them. This was brain-dead.There are so many ways to make a living in the world, it doesnt matter that youve taken all the "right" courses. I dont think one person on the origi9nal Macintosh team had a classic degree in computer science.

My dad wanted me to be a lawyer. For him i went to Law School. I quit two weeks later, for me./quote.

his other key rules were dont get married too young. Whens the last time you heard someone say you got married "too late". never. but you can definitely do it too young.

and finally. Take advantage of your family and friends while you still can. one day they WILL be gone. What will you look back and think?

cheers guys

also another bit of gold, although for some of us its too late.

"i rushed through college in 3.5 years. I never travelled or took time off because I thought that it wouldnt prepare me for the work world.

Frankly, I blew it. You are going to work the rest of your lives, so dont be in a rush to start. Stretch college out your college education. Now is the time to suck life into your lungs -before you have a mortgage, kids, and car payments.

Take whole semester off to travel overseas. Take jobs or internships that pay less or no money.Investigate your passions on your parents nickel. Your goal should be to extend college to six years, at least.

de;ay as long as possible the inevitable entry into the workplace and a lifetime servitdue to bozos who know less than you do, but make more money."

ok enough motivation!

KEYHAII!!!

i've definently gone through a lot in the past 3 years where problems built up, answers fell short and a whirlwind of stress to try to keep everything in my house "perfect" for my parents.i've gone through depression and anger and at one point suicide. I used to wonder if i was meant to be me. (i am religious) i would wonder why i see the world through these eyes, this body, me. Is God playing with me ala The Truman Show, where people amuse themselves by all my joy and prosper, as well as my hardships and conflicts. I think religion plays a deep part in reconstructing your life at any point, on the top of spirits, to the lows of frustration.
However, to help myself, i read many inspriational stories (u can get them at a local library) to reasses the precious gift of life and how to make the most of it. it helped me and it still does

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Thank You and Goodnight