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Originally posted by Miss Julia So men, answer this: Can a guy be in love, but at the same time not be ready for a commitment? If so, please explain... Thanks in advance!

indeed........

but watch out.. knowing guys, we mostly are after the p00n

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On OOKA-OOKA ME NACHOS ME PRESS KEYS ON COMPUTER GOOD

hmmmm...could you be a little more specific? i mean...i've loved women, but i don't like wanna get married tomorrow.

do you mean this guy doesn't want to date exclusively?

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Julia So men, answer this: Can a guy be in love, but at the same time not be ready for a commitment? If so, please explain... Thanks in advance!

relationship, engagement, marrige, friends.?

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Let's say the couple have been together for about a year now. Things are going great. He is saying he loves you and you make him happy, BUT at the same time he is saying he doesn't know what he wants, and is afraid of commitment.

What does that mean? I know men have a different mentality as women, but how can u love someone, but not know what you want? How can you love someone, but be afraid of commitment?

It's a little confusing to me.

well...even though i'm waiting for a story hehehe...this is how i would break it down...


commitment: marriage

i would say that a man can be in love and not be ready for marriage. that's a big decision and he could maybe not feel like he is capable yet both financially and emotionally to take that on...

commitment: exclusive dating

i don't know about this. maybe i'm old fashion, but i think if someone doesn't want to date exclusively...then you probably don't want to date that person. i mean, i think it's awesome to date exclusively and i don't even think i'd date someone if it wasn't. to me...that is basically saying that i like you for only a few reasons...and i want those few reasons from other ladies too hehehe...

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Originally posted by Miss Julia Let's say the couple have been together for about a year now. Things are going great. He is saying he loves you and you make him happy, BUT at the same time he is saying he doesn't know what he wants, and is afraid of commitment. What does that mean? I know men have a different mentality as women, but how can u love someone, but not know what you want? How can you love someone, but be afraid of commitment? It's a little confusing to me.

hmmm...well i don't think that means he doesn't love you. if you guys have been dating for a year...i think he's just saying that he isn't ready for the next step...whatever that is. i don't think that means he doesn't love you...he just loves the way things are going and doesn't want to risk ruining it...

do you guys live together right now?

I’ve read in chick magazines before that sometimes men get freaked out a little by how much they like a girl, so it sort of scares them into not wanting to commit JUST YET, and they sort of detach themselves and act weird. Then of course we get freaked out and think they don’t like us. So maybe it is possible.

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Julia Let's say the couple have been together for about a year now. Things are going great. He is saying he loves you and you make him happy, BUT at the same time he is saying he doesn't know what he wants, and is afraid of commitment. What does that mean? I know men have a different mentality as women, but how can u love someone, but not know what you want? How can you love someone, but be afraid of commitment? It's a little confusing to me.

The dude totally isnt sure that the feelings he has now will be forever. He also thinks that he doesnt want the 100% marrige commitment & give up losing opportunitys of other peices of poon tang in the future. Or even other relationships.

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I would say that if I was in love, I would not be afraid of committing to one partner. As for committing to marriage, that is a different thing... it's a big step that people are consistently putting off until later in life these days. I can only speak for myself, however, if a guy has been dating a girl for over a year and they are happy and he doesn't want to be exclusive, then you should dump him fast

EDIT: yea I pretty much rehashed floorfiller's post.. heh

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"It's mercifully over. But a new phenomenon has taken hold. I recognize it: feelings. Now that they're back, even overcompensating, I never want to lose them again. Bitterness, anger, jealousy, sadness: They all make me happy."

more info...on the couple....

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Julia Let's say the couple have been together for about a year now. Things are going great. He is saying he loves you and you make him happy, BUT at the same time he is saying he doesn't know what he wants, and is afraid of commitment. What does that mean? I know men have a different mentality as women, but how can u love someone, but not know what you want? How can you love someone, but be afraid of commitment? It's a little confusing to me.

if hes stuck with you this long, i would believe that he loves you. im sure he also sees "shit or get off the pot" time coming up on him as well. dont try to pressure a guy into marriage, it will only turn him off to the idea. if you want THE commitment (i.e. the ring) then play it casual. a year isnt that long of a time, if you are exclusively dating, i would be happy with that if i were you. once it gets to about 2 or 3 years and you guys have been living together for at least a year, then its time to think about getting married.

btw, how old are both of you?