So who can teach me about Canadian 'culture'?

When I come to Canada again and own the place it would be nice to understand what makes you guys and gals tick.

If you lesson proves valuable I will double and provide a detailed rundown on the stuff that defines modern day Australian 'kulcha.

What are some slang terms common in your world?

Whats the modern day national dress?

How does one become a socially adept Canadian, and what does a socially retarded Canadian look like?

Are you people patriotic, or is your culture more selfish?

How does on pick up Canadian girls?

What food is traditional Canadian?

What are the funky cities, the backwards cities, and the ugly cities?

What does one do for fun in Canada?

What sport and fun do you guys like?

Whats the music by popular choice?

Thats a start but in search of my honourary Canadian citizenship I would like to be fully briefed on the inside information.

Have some fun.

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"The first stage of the great adventure has concluded happily, and here I am installed in Mexico, although I have no idea about the future" Che Guevara

quote:

Originally posted by töbias What are some slang terms common in your world?

As I was telling another Aussie friend who goes to York...

u just NEED to master the term "owns" and "ownage"

Whut a great word all by itself! It totally fuckn owns!

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Okay, maybe this seemed a little daunting.

Well, a tip for any guy that wants to be an Australian, or at least sound like an Australian.

The key to be an Australian is being able to properly say:
"G'Day Mate how are you going?".

This seems easy enough for the novice, but takes years to perfect.

Try it out loud, and you will notice that it takes a few seconds and your voice will range from high to low as you say it.

Well an Aussie takes about 0.3 seconds, it sounds like "gdaymatehowugoin", and is said in a low flat deep voice.

This is the standard greeting for when you say hello to another guy in Australia, and as ours is somewhat of a bloke culture, the key is to say it in a real manly voice, and you will find that you will not be any longer treated like a tourist in Australia if you can say this properly, and if you come across an Aussie in Canada they will be your best mate if you can say this properly.

This is like a secret Aussie to Aussie code that you will not find any language manuals.

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"The first stage of the great adventure has concluded happily, and here I am installed in Mexico, although I have no idea about the future" Che Guevara

im not canadian but ill answer the questions (please dont let me get burned for these, its all in good humor)

What are some slang terms common in your world? eh!

Whats the modern day national dress? a touque and snow shoes

How does one become a socially adept Canadian, and what does a socially retarded Canadian look like? like jayx1......hehehehe

Are you people patriotic, or is your culture more selfish? patriotic even though they dont like to admit it

How does on pick up Canadian girls? biggest mystery to mankind

What food is traditional Canadian? maple syrup on back bacon with a side of blubber

What are the funky cities, the backwards cities, and the ugly cities? everything outside the GTA

What does one do for fun in Canada? play with beavers

What sport and fun do you guys like? hockey, hockey and more hockey

Whats the music by popular choice? hockey music

What is a touque?

National Australian dress is a blue singlet (called the 'wife beater'), short shorts ('stubbies'), thongs ('pluggers'), and a tan line just above your ankles caused by wearing socks with shoes and your leg tans but only to your sock line. Very sexy, and similar to the goggle tan you get snowboarding, but its on your ankle.

In Australia, not many people like the cricket, but we love going. Not only because we always win, but what other sport allows you to drink alcohol for 7 hours in the hot sun which has a type of deydrative effect so that you are legless after the first hour, take your clothes off and run across the field by hour 2, get lobster sunburnt by hour 3, and not remember anything after.

Another benefit of cricket is the ability to hire 'beer wenches' which are strippers that you pay money to wear skimpy bikinis and buy you beer and serve it to you and your mates all day. People often say they hate cricket, its boring, but they just don't understand cricket 'culture'.

Can someone explain hockey culture to me?

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"The first stage of the great adventure has concluded happily, and here I am installed in Mexico, although I have no idea about the future" Che Guevara

quote:

Originally posted by töbias Well, a tip for any guy that wants to be an Australian, or at least sound like an Australian. The key to be an Australian is being able to properly say: "G'Day Mate how are you going?".

What if I said to someone driving a Walkie, something like "dat car is fully sick mate, goin round to pick up da chickee babes wit Guido and bumpin some beats then go do some doughies down at the B&S?"

Would that pass?

http://www.cs.utah.edu/~suyash/Images/Winter2003/z_Igloo%20&%20the%20eskimo.jpg

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quote:

Originally posted by töbias What is a touque? National Australian dress is a blue singlet (called the 'wife beater'), short shorts ('stubbies'), thongs ('pluggers'), and a tan line just above your ankles caused by wearing socks with shoes and your leg tans but only to your sock line. Very sexy, and similar to the goggle tan you get snowboarding, but its on your ankle. In Australia, not many people like the cricket, but we love going. Not only because we always win, but what other sport allows you to drink alcohol for 7 hours in the hot sun which has a type of deydrative effect so that you are legless after the first hour, take your clothes off and run across the field by hour 2, get lobster sunburnt by hour 3, and not remember anything after. Another benefit of cricket is the ability to hire 'beer wenches' which are strippers that you pay money to wear skimpy bikinis and buy you beer and serve it to you and your mates all day. People often say they hate cricket, its boring, but they just don't understand cricket 'culture'. Can someone explain hockey culture to me?

Ahahaha, gold! A "touque" just means a winter hat... we like to sometimes call them tougues (even tho ive never used the words myself or EVER heard someone in person say that!)

Sounds like cricket woudl be JUST my sport... i love the heat and sun so bad its not funny... im perpetually getting a hardcore sunburn (and then later in the summer, tans) and beer is my lord and saviour... i love being drunk, day, night, it dont matter

this whole 'beer wenches' thing sounds totally up my alley... whut a great sport man!

and whuts this "blue singlet" you are sayign you call a 'wife beater' ???

Because over here, wifebeaters (or just beaters for short, either works and is equally used) are pretty much those ribbed white undershirts guys wear (if i girl wears one, its called a tank top essentially) u can by them at walmet a pack of 2 for like 9$ or something.

Now not all guys agree w/ me, but i SWEAR by wifebeaters. I will NOT leave my house w/o one on.. .in the winter they provided an extra layer of warmth, in the summer they are great... who needs a fuckn shirt?!!? I will hardly EVER wear a t-shirt in the summer (well, hafta to work u know). All i ever wear are shorts and beaters! Beaters fuckn RULE IMO... i am the biggest wifebeater whore ull ever meet... 100% PRO WIFEBEATERS! (but not those horrible, stretch nasty ones u see Tony Soprano always wearing... i take pride in my beaters, i only wear "Scott" ones... they seem more vibrantly white than the other brands and they dont lose their elasticity anywhere near as quick as other brands!

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TECHNO IS THE BEST NOISE ON EARTH.
Save Techno - Stop Minimal / Tech-House

quote:

Originally posted by töbias Can someone explain hockey culture to me?

Not me... the ONLY sport I follow is Tennis... god bless it...

Too bad Hewitt lost, i was really disappointed! FUCK! He has yet to win that title!

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TECHNO IS THE BEST NOISE ON EARTH.
Save Techno - Stop Minimal / Tech-House

quote:

Originally posted by VERTiG0 What if I said to someone driving a Walkie, something like "dat car is fully sick mate, goin round to pick up da chickee babes wit Guido and bumpin some beats then go do some doughies down at the B&S?" Would that pass?

Only if you live in Sydney and you are Lebanese will that language fly.

And then the end of the sentence would be something like "shouwld we crash da wrx inta the shop n steal sum stezzas".

A mass genocidal program is being contructed by the Australian to deal with that problem by the way...

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"The first stage of the great adventure has concluded happily, and here I am installed in Mexico, although I have no idea about the future" Che Guevara

quote:

Originally posted by töbias Only if you live in Sydney and you are Lebanese will that language fly. And then the end of the sentence would be something like "shouwld we crash da wrx inta the shop n steal sum stezzas". A mass genocidal program is being contructed by the Australian to deal with that problem by the way...

I'll be in Sydney in 2 years but I'm not Lebanese. Isn't Sydney full of bogans too?

hockey culture.

Well you can't really explain it, so I'll just give you an idea.
We idolize violent individuals with knives on their feet and hooked clubs in their hands who beat each other up in persuit of a hard rubber disk on a cold ice surface. It's something about missing teeth that makes us believe they're courageous, something along the lines that americans think it's noble to lose a limb in iraq for a not-so-worthy cause.

Furthermore, we're so hockey crazed in this country, that even without the professional league this year, we're still getting our hockey fix by watching both juniors, and sub-standard eurpean league play.

As for the social effects of hockey, it almost certianly leads to excessive beer consumption at our sports bars, and rowdy behaviour. Depending on what city your in, hockey madness reaches a peak in april and doesn't stop until that city's team is out, and every second night is a hardcore drinking session at the local bar. If you are in Ottawa, it is HIGHLY recommended you don't be there when the Senators play Toronto's beloved Maple Leafs in the playoffs, lest you see a city get rediculusly depressed that their superior talent once again chokes and goes out prematurely to us.

it is also the recommendation of Canadians that anyone entering the country should learn both the rules of the game, and develope an appreciation for it before arriving. Finding a copy of Don Cherry's Rock em Sock em [vol 1-16?] would help you with this. Oh, and learning to appreciate our redneck anti-gay, anti-french, anti-european, anti-wuss undeclared head of state Don 'Grapes' Cherry, is also helpful

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